Discussion List for campus-based and allied personnel working to end gender-based violence on campus.

[Brett Sokolow <>]

And I think that usefully highlights the difference between unwanted and unwelcome.  

Regards,
Brett A. Sokolow
Brett A. Sokolow, Esq.
Attorney-at-Law

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From: Kate Rohdenburg <>
Date: Wednesday, September 17, 2014 at 1:18 PM
To: Carol Mosely <>, "Felty, Wade P." <>
Cc: "" <>, "" <>
Subject: RE: TotalSororityMove article

I would be really careful about “regretted sex” particularly in regards to the situation in the story, which was not regretted, it was unwanted WHILE it was happening. Regretted might be something like “I really want to be having sex with this guy right now, but regret how much it ends up hurting my best friend who is dating him.” It may happen that people regret sex that they’ve had, but that is a REALLY different thing than unwanted sex and confusing the two is often what leads people to the conclusion that people are lying about rape because they decided they “regretted” it after the fact, which we all know is not what happens for survivors of sexual assault.

K

 

Kate Rohdenburg, Program Director

Program Center at 38 Bank Street, Lebanon NH

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From: Carol Mosely []
Sent: Wednesday, September 17, 2014 12:02 PM
To: Felty, Wade P.
Cc: ;
Subject: Re: TotalSororityMove article

 

The comments/discussion following the article are an excellent source for response ideas and they show encouraging signs that the level of understanding of consent is rising. Every person, certainly every survivor, must decide for themselves how they want to define an experience like this. The most important tool for the discussion that educators can offer is to make the concept of consent simple and clear. 

 

I think the term “regretted sex” can be helpful in a discussion of this type of experience. Certainly it’s more helpful than “unwanted consensual sex” which is contradictory and confusing. Juxtaposing regretted sex with sexual assault can deepen the discussion of consent and also help confront the lingering belief that some rapes are really just regretted sex.

 

Carol Mosely

| Director

334-593-0699 office

334-294-4811 cell

www.weendviolence.com

 

 

 

On Sep 17, 2014, at 8:07 AM, Felty, Wade P. wrote:

Colleagues,

 

One of my student peer educators showed this to me and doesn’t know what to make of it or how to respond to the things it talks about. Have you seen this? What would you tell someone?

 

http://totalsororitymove.com/is-it-possible-that-there-is-something-in-between-consensual-sex-and-rape-and-that-it-happens-to-almost-every-girl-out-there/

 

 

Wade

 

Wade Felty

Wade Felty

Office of Residence Life & Housing and Judicial Affairs

Randolph-Macon College

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