Discussion List for campus-based and allied personnel working to end gender-based violence on campus.

[susan paraspolo <>]

2 myths I commonly hear:

 

"I heard her say she wanted to have sex with him, NOW, she's crying rape?"

 

"She's after his money, happens to famous men all the time"

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Sent: Thursday, November 11, 2010 10:07 PM

Subject: [Prevent-Connect] RE: "Stop Blaming the Victim" sticker for April

 

Thanks, Dr. Langford!  I appreciate your thoughts on this. 

I designed the sticker so that it’s very obvious that these are victim-blaming myths – the words “Stop Blaming the Victim” are written in huge letters OVER the myths themselves.  It’s kind of like David Garvin’s wonderful poster, “Know Excuses,” with the excuses batterers have made over the years.

I recall some discussion about “myth-fact” education being problematic, and people misremembering myths as facts.  I also remember some counter-arguments by Brett Sokolow and maybe some others, questioning these recent studies.  I’m not a researcher, but I came away from the whole discussion unconvinced that “myth-fact” education should be completely thrown out. 

Anyway, I love your ideas of positive statements like “here’s what happened – he chose to rape her.”  My friend Joe Farrell suggested “It wasn’t a DATE who raped me, it was a known offender!”  Perhaps you can design a sticker of your own – the folks I’m working with are at www.websticker.com. 

Many of you have written me back with other suggestions, some of which I’m incorporating into the sticker.  So far, we have these additional suggestions:

1. I have to have sex with him – he’s my husband. 
2. Why didn’t you push him off you?
3. How can a guy be raped?  Guys love sex!
4. Whores aren’t raped – it’s more like theft.
5. She’s such a slut – no way was she raped.
6. She “cried rape”
7. “Accuser”
8. But they were BOTH drunk!

Other ideas?

Until the violence stops,

Ben Atherton-Zeman: Feminist, actor, husband

Presenting a one-man anti-violence play “Voices of Men.”  Clips available at http://www.voicesofmen.org, booking info at 978-897-3619.

Quote of the month, November 2010: “If y ou rape a child who is a stranger and get caught, you will probably go to jail.  If you rape your own child and get caught, you will probably get custody.”  - Garland Waller, http://www.smalljustice.com. 

See Garland, myself and many others at the Battered Mother’s Custody Conference in Albany this January 7-9, http://www.batteredmotherscustodyconference.org/

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