Discussion List for campus-based and allied personnel working to end gender-based violence on campus.

["Langford, Linda" <>]

So many people really believe the “blame the victim” statements, I’m afraid that restating them would serve to reinforce rather than challenge them. (I’m thinking of some research I read about “myths and facts” suggesting that people misremember myths as facts, partly because they see them written out. That’s really gotten me thinking about how we present messages in the field.)

 

So -- just brainstorming, here -- I wonder about an approach that rewords the victim-blaming statements in a way that challenges them directly. People will still recognize the underlying belief/myth, but this way they are explicitly presented as false.

 

For example (behind the slogan “Stop Blaming the Victim”):

It wasn’t her wardrobe choices.

Kissing him didn’t give him permission to rape her.

What “situation” does a person “put themselves in” that signals their agreement to be raped?

Her self-esteem is irrelevant.

They said to go out with a friend – and she did.

Here’s what happened: HE CHOSE to rape her.

 

Maybe those aren’t the right statements (and they’re mostly hetero, and one is too long), but from a communications standpoint it seems like these *types* of statements might have less likely to be misunderstood as support for victim-blaming.

 

Linda Langford

 

 

Linda Langford, Sc.D.

Associate Center Director, Higher Education Center for Alcohol, Drug Abuse, and Violence Prevention

www.HigherEdCenter.org

Evaluation Scientist, Suicide Prevention Resource Center (SPRC)

www.sprc.org/

55 Chapel Street, Newton, MA  02458-1060

voice (800) 676-1730 x2719 OR (617) 618-2719 (direct line)

fax (617) 928-1537

 

From: Ben Atherton Zeman [mailto:]
Sent: Thursday, November 11, 2010 11:39 AM
To: ; ;
Cc: ; ; 'Women's Resource and Action Centers'
Subject: "Stop Blaming the Victim" sticker for April

 

Good morning, friends!

 

I’m designing another bumper sticker that says “Stop Blaming the Victim.”  Behind those words are a background of victim-blaming statements.  This sticker will be teal, for Sexual Assault Awareness Month – the statements blame the victims of sexual assault for what happened to them.

 

Some of the statements are direct quotes I’ve heard from survivors, or those who blame them.  I’ve tried to make the statements “other-blame” as well as “self-blame,” from both a male and female perspective, from hetero and GLBTQ.  This is what I have so far:

 

1. I’d never put myself in that situation.
2. She shouldn’t have been drinking.
3. He shouldn’t have been taking drugs.
4. Why did I agree to go up to his room?
5. I shouldn’t have agreed to let him in.
6. I should have said “no” more forcefully.
7. You shouldn’t have led him on like that!
8. She has low self-esteem – that’s why she gets herself in these situations.
9. It’s not that big of a deal.
10. Why was she wearing that outfit?
11. She had sex with him before.
12. He made out with the guy – what did he expect would happen?
13. She flirted with her all night – what did she expect would happen?

 

What other (short) victim-blaming statements should I put on the sticker?  What else have YOU heard that blames victims of sexual violence? 

 

If I use your suggestion, you get four free stickers once they get printed.  I’ll also be reprinting the purple “Stop Blaming the Victim” sticker with statements that blame victims of domestic/dating violence.

 

Many thanks – let’s keep raising our voices until the violence stops!

 

Ben Atherton-Zeman: Feminist, actor, husband

Presenting a one-man anti-violence play “Voices of Men.”  Clips available at http://www.voicesofmen.org, booking info at 978-897-3619.

 

Quote of the month, November 2010: “If y ou rape a child who is a stranger and get caught, you will probably go to jail.  If you rape your own child and get caught, you will probably get custody.”  - Garland Waller, http://www.smalljustice.com.  See Garland, myself and many others at the Battered Mother’s Custody Conference in Albany this January 7-9, http://www.batteredmotherscustodyconference.org/