sapc - RE: Survivors continuing relationship with attacker

Subject: Discussion List for campus-based and allied personnel working to end gender-based violence on campus.

List archive

RE: Survivors continuing relationship with attacker

From: "Felty, Wade P." <>
To: Brett Sokolow <>
Cc: "" <>
Subject: RE: Survivors continuing relationship with attacker
Date: Tue, 20 Aug 2013 15:09:45 +0000
Accept-language: en-US

Thank you Brett. I’m sorry for not being more clear about it – I don’t want them to entertain these details and they are not relevant – but I want to be proactive and address these behaviors in training this Fall and explain tonic immobility, memory problems, rape trauma syndrome and counter-intuitive victim behaviors. I think getting a head of these issues and contextualizing what often times happens to victims, while allow our panels to make better and more informed decisions. I do always list for them things they should/shouldn’t ask people and proper ways to phrase them. Sorry if I left doubt about that.

Wade

Wade Felty

Wade Felty

Office of Residence Life & Housing and Judicial Affairs

Randolph-Macon College

(804)-752-3234 (Office)

(717)-813-3513 (Mobile 1)

(804)-441-4187 (Mobile 2)

From: Brett Sokolow [mailto:]
Sent: Tuesday, August 20, 2013 7:47 AM
To: Felty, Wade P.
Cc:
Subject: Re: Survivors continuing relationship with attacker

Wade, while I do think your question is of importance to the sociological understanding of sexual violence, I'm usually not willing to let a panel even entertain post-assault details like that. They aren't relevant to whether an assault was committed, just like a beaten spouse who stays in the relationship doesn't make it less likely they were being beaten by doing so. That said, I recall there is some information on denial that covers it in Ledray's Recovering from Rape.

Regards,
Brett A. Sokolow
Brett A. Sokolow, Esq.
Attorney-at-Law

President & CEO, The NCHERM Group LLC

Executive Director, The National Behavioral Intervention Team Association

Executive Director, The Association of Title IX Administrators

Publisher, Student Affairs eNews

116 E. King St.
Malvern, PA 19355-2969
Tel. (610) 993-0229
Fax (610) 993-0228

The NCHERM Group, LLC serves as legal counsel/advisor to 35 campuses

From: <Felty>, "Wade P." <>
Date: Monday, August 19, 2013 10:52 PM
To: "" <>
Subject: Survivors continuing relationship with attacker

Colleagues,

I want to thank all of your for your many very helpful responses to my request for information on the neurobiology of sexual assault. The works of Dr. Lisak (who I’ve heard in person and read a lot of) and Dr. Rachel Campbell (who I was not familiar with until many of you wrote in) are particularly helpful. I think I have a solid mound of information to give our Dean’s Sexual Conduct Review Board to help them understand memory problems and tonic immobility. If I haven’t thanked everyone personally, I am working on doing so.

The final piece I am interested in is something a few panel members have questioned me about, and which I do not have a scientific/psychiatric explanation at the moment but I have heard it is common response….what causes some victims to continue associating with their attacker? i.e. last year we had a victim talk about how she texted her attacker a few times, and they even went out on several dates, and she continued regular social contact right up to the days leading up to her disclosing to us. Is this a symptom of rape trauma syndrome? I know it is almost more understandable when they are intimate partner, but what about when they are mere acquaintances and the victim still seeks out contact with them (positive contact, not accusatory/angry contact). Some of my older faculty colleagues have trouble understanding this. I know it is a common response but I am trying to explain possible motivations.