Fully agree. I just thought I'd stick with the definition of rape in my discussion which is why I said 92+% Juliette Grimmett Assistant Director, Women's Center Interpersonal Violence Services NC State University (919) 515-2012
On Jan 2, 2011, at 9:22 PM, wrote:
I think that gives men too much credit, Juliette. Lisak's research
showed a 6.3% perpetration rate for rape, only. Sexual assault was not
assessed, nor were relationship violence, stalking or other acts of gender
violence. The four offense definitions were conservative (statute-based),
and not based on campus offense definitions. Broaden the question, and I
think the offender base will broaden as well. Also, account for the fact
that Lisak only studied undetected rapists. Those who were already held
accountable in court or on campus were not studied. That's a small number,
sure, but also broadens the offender population.
Regards,
Brett A.
Sokolow
Brett A. Sokolow,
J.D.
Attorney-At-Law
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NCHERM serves as counsel/advisor to 14 campuses,
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In a message dated 1/2/2011 9:05:06 P.M. Eastern Standard Time,
writes:
one last
thought...
Despite the sexist, often misogynistic, rape culture we live
in where men are entitled and women objectified, most men (on college
campuses, about 92+%) do not commit rape. The ones who do choose
to do so - raping is a choice someone makes.
peace
Juliette Grimmett
Assistant Director, NC State University Women's
Center
Interpersonal Violence Services
3120 Talley Student Center
Raleigh, NC 27695
919-515-2012
P
Consider
the environment before printing this email or the attachment.
>>> "Juliette
Grimmett" <> 1/2/2011 4:03 PM
>>>
Thank you for your response Abby - you said exactly what I
have been
thinking - there is still a small number of men who do it,
therefore
there is something else going on here- we can't just say poor men
who
are victims of a rape culture. Also, I fully agree that these men
know
what they are doing - this is why they call, text, email, facebook,
etc.
a couple days after, acting completely normal, or sometimes
apologizing
(for their own sake-to make the survivor think they are
remorseful and
therefore not report), all to continue being manipulative
and make it
even harder for these women to report. Even law
enforcement knows this
which is why pre-text phone calls are one of their
investigative tactics
in non-stranger rape cases. We all know what is right
and wrong - rape
is NOT gray - if someone is crying, passed out, saying no,
totally
still, pushing someone away - everyone one of us knows this is
someone
not consenting. It's just that some choose not to
care.
peace
Juliette Grimmett
Assistant Director, NC State
University Women's Center
Interpersonal Violence Services
3120 Talley
Student Center
Raleigh, NC 27695
919-515-2012
Want to learn more
about being a peer educator?
www.ncsu.edu/themovement
PConsider the environment
before printing this email or the attachment.
>>>
"Abby Tassel" <> 12/29/2010
9:49 AM
>>>
Im now wanting to challenge a little as well!
While we
live in a rape culture, research has shown us that only a
small percentage
of men rape (although a much larger percentage commit
other
sexually-violent crimes). Thus, there is something going on
with
these men that allows them to violate at this level. I am not
saying
the construct of a diagnosis would be appropriate, just that when
we
talk about rape as mistaken hooking up, we are not recognizing
the
violent nature of the act. Having heard hundreds if not thousands
of
accounts from victims/survivors, it has become clear that these men
know
they are hurting someone else when they rape. So, yes, our
culture
supports predatory behavior, objectifying, trying to hook up,
but
for most men, when women freeze, scream, cry, or otherwise indicate
lack
of consent, they stop. For the men who are not going to stop,
the
culture provides a camouflage for their behavior. So Frank
and
other rapists think that what they are doing is normal. Its
not. I
think we need to be careful to not sanitize the violence
along with
Frank.
Peace,
Abby Tassel
Assistant
Director
From:
Sent: Thursday, December 23,
2010 3:32 PM
To:
Subject: Intention, Sociopaths,
and Rape Culture
I wanted to comment and challenge us on a
couple of the assumption that
have been made in the responses to these
questions about two tier
policies. These assumptions are that very few
perpetrators are
unintentional and that most rapists are sociopaths.
Lisak's research is
often pointed to validate this
perspective.
I think Lisak's research is very well done and
very helpful, but his
findings are often misunderstood out to validate some
of our own
assumptions: to help us villainize perpetrators who we
are
understandably angry at and hurt by and so that we don't have
to
collectively take responsibility. Lisak uses the term "serial
rapists"
to indicate perpetrators that repeatedly engage in the behavior. I
know
many of us connect the terms "serial rapists" with "serial killers"
-
who I would agree are often (probably always) sociopaths. But
just
because one does something bad repeatedly doesn't mean one knows what
he
is doing is bad and doesn't care (sociopath). It could also mean that
he
has been taught by the culture that has surrounded him that what he
is
doing is not bad, that it is normal, and that it is expected of him.
We live in a rape culture that mis-educates us about what is
sex and
what is rape throughout our lives. Extreme examples of the rape
culture
are often shared on this list with calls for activism to confront
them.
But we often become oblivious to the more subtle aspects of rape
culture
that surround us everyday - even those of us who do this work
everyday.
The reason we don't see the rape culture is not because it is not
there,
but because it is everywhere. The rape culture encourages, condones,
and
teaches men to rape women, only it doesn't call it that. It calls
it
hooking up, getting laid, and having sex. As a result of this
rape
culture men in particular are taught that the way you hook-up and
have
sex includes pressure, coercion, using alcohol to ply invalid
consent,
etc. Only we don't call it that. We call it "having game," "being
a
sweet talker," "knowing how to butter her up," or "finding a
cheap
date." Pardon the heterosexist examples - but heterosexism
and
homophobia are also a part of the rape culture. Most men who
have
engaged in behavior that meets the legal definition of rape and
the
definition of rape in college policies don't define what they have
done
as rape (84% according to Koss). I would think that makes them
rapists
but perhaps rapists who didn't intend to hurt, violate,
dominate,
coerce, or control their victims - although I am sure their lack
of
intent to do so does much to change that the victims of
their
perpetration feel exactly that. Nor should it.
Now,
let me be clear, this does not excuse, condone, or mitigate
the
perpetrators responsibility in anyway shape or form. This is why I
don't
think separating intention with unintentional in terms of policy
or
sanctioning should be done. I would argue instead this implicates
the
rest of us, who contribute to the rape culture ourselves despite
our
best of intentions.
If we are going to be effective in
preventing sexual assaults, we have
to really understand who the
perpetrators are (as hard as that might be
- especially for those who do
this work who are survivors) so that we
can be most effective in reaching
them. If we hold sessions telling
college men that rape is bad - it is a
tremendous waste of our time and
theirs. The sociopaths (who I would argue
are limited but clearly
dangerous) aren't going to care. And the nice,
well-meaning,
well-intentioned rapist (who I would argue data suggest are
the vast
majority) will agree with you wholeheartedly and then continue
hooking
up the way they have been taught their whole lives and engaging
in
behavior that does indeed meet legal and campus definitions of rape.
In
fact, they may perpetrate repeatedly (becoming a serial rapist)
not
because they are sociopaths but because they are doing what they
have
been taught is expected of them. The problem is with how we have
been
taught to hook up our whole lives.
This is why we must
challenge the rape culture by clearly defining
consent, clearly defining
informed consent, and beginning to unpack the
ways the rape culture has and
continues to mis-educates us so that there
are fewer perpetrators and so
that we can begin to challenge, confront,
and dismantle the rape culture
that continues to mis-educate others.
--Keith E. Edwards,
PhD
www.menendingrape.org
www.keithedwards.us
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