Discussion List for campus-based and allied personnel working to end gender-based violence on campus.

-----Original Message-----
From: 

 
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Sent: Monday, March 10, 2008 11:12 AM
To: 'Juliette Grimmett'
Subject: Re: Stalking activity

Juliette,
 You are welcome to borrow an exercise I invented that has worked well 
especially on campus. The goal of the exercise is for the audience to define 
stalking. It has to be done with a sense of humor because otherwise it is too 
disturbing for the group to learn. In a large enough room I ask everyone to 
sit on one side, and then move to the other side at the point when they feel 
that stalking has occurred. (In a smaller room I've had to resort to hand 
raising or some other signal but that doesn't work as well.) Next I ask for a 
volunteer and then set up the situation: I am a female student. We were at a 
party last Saturday and were briefly introduced. The volunteer has no 
interest in getting to know me. Before last Saturday the volunteer had never 
seen me but since then the volunteer has noticed me a number of times in his 
or her peripheral vision. This is the first actual conversation we have had 
since the party.
 I then start the exercise by asking the volunteer out on a date. I use a 
bunch of phrases that stalkers use, starting with the most innocuous -- like, 
"I felt an instant connection between us" -- and moving on to more disturbing 
ones -- like, (after a polite refusal) "how could you treat me this way after 
all we've meant to each other?" With some audience members, I may have to go 
really far, like admitting that I have been following the volunteer all week 
and threatening to escalate, possibly into violence.
 What I've found is that there is a huge range among audience members as to 
when they think my behavior qualifies as stalking, and also how they assess 
the volunteer's responses to what I say, all of which forms the basis of a 
pretty lively discussion.

I hope this is useful.
Alice Vachss