Discussion List for campus-based and allied personnel working to end gender-based violence on campus.

 I love Alices' exercise -- and I would add only that it has to be a 
subjective test -- measured only by the state of mind of the stalk-ee -- 
because people feel terrorized at different points on the scale, too -- and 
the goal of anti-stalking law and policy is to deter behavior that makes even 
the egg-shell skull victim feel un-free to walk around in the world without 
constant fear caused by the unwanted intrusive behavior of another -- 

i'm overstating it a bit but only because any policy -- to be effective -- 
has to start with a good understanding of? the nature of the harm to be 
deterred - and when it comes to stalking,? murkiness aroud line-drawing only 
aids the harm-doer 

while stalking may never lend itself to black and white lines, it can be 
described as any behavior that causes an individual to feel unsafe -- and it 
can be analogized to terrorism in the sense that it forces people to hide -- 
stay home -- not live their lives openly -- 

likewise, it can be analogized to behavior that has historically caused 
entire classes of people - especially racial minorities -- to feel less free 
than others to walk around free in society -- 

stalking as a technical legal matter requires more, obviously, but the 
practical rules work much better when there's a good understanding of what's 
at stake for victims 

some stalkers truly believe they are not engaged in bad behavior because they 
haven't made physical contact -- and haven't made any direct threats -- but 
many stalking victims will move to another state even if they think they will 
never be physically harmed because it is paralyzing to live with the constant 
and unpredictable presence (or threatened presence) of an unwanted person in 
their space -- 

with my students, i will sometimes just walk over and sit on their desk -- or 
lean over head -- in a manner that doesn't rise to the level of physically 
assaultive -- but is clearly intrusive and violative of their right to be let 
alone -- and it always provokes a conversation about why control over one's 
personal space and the right to live without constant fear of unwanted 
intrusions ( in terms of stalking or rape law) are so important to the nature 
of the human condition -- 

wendy murphy




 

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Sent: Tue, 11 Mar 2008 8:04 am
Subject: SAPC Digest, Vol 944, Issue 1










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Today's Topics:

   1. Fwd:  Stalking activity 
()


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Message: 1
Date: Mon, 10 Mar 2008 19:27:32 +0000
From: 

Subject: Fwd:  Stalking activity
To: 

Message-ID: 
<W772194068187591205177252@webmail32>
Content-Type: text/plain; charset="us-ascii"


-----Original Message-----
From: 

 
[mailto:]
Sent: Monday, March 10, 2008 11:12 AM
To: 'Juliette Grimmett'
Subject: Re: Stalking activity

Juliette,
 You are welcome to borrow an exercise I invented that has worked well 
especially on campus. The goal of the exercise is for the audience to define 
stalking. It has to be done with a sense of humor because otherwise it is too 
disturbing for the group to learn. In a large enough room I ask everyone to 
sit 
on one side, and then move to the other side at the point when they feel that 
stalking has occurred. (In a smaller room I've had to resort to hand raising 
or 
some other signal but that doesn't work as well.) Next I ask for a volunteer 
and 
then set up the situation: I am a female student. We were at a party last 
Saturday and were briefly introduced. The volunteer has no interest in 
getting 
to know me. Before last Saturday the volunteer had never seen me but since 
then 
the volunteer has noticed me a number of times in his or her peripheral 
vision. 
This is the first actual conversation we have had since the party.
 I then start the exercise by asking the volunteer out on a date. I use a 
bunch 
of phrases that stalkers use, starting with the most innocuous -- like, "I 
felt 
an instant connection between us" -- and moving on to more disturbing ones -- 
like, (after a polite refusal) "how could you treat me this way after all 
we've 
meant to each other?" With some audience members, I may have to go really 
far, 
like admitting that I have been following the volunteer all week and 
threatening 
to escalate, possibly into violence.
 What I've found is that there is a huge range among audience members as to 
when 
they think my behavior qualifies as stalking, and also how they assess the 
volunteer's responses to what I say, all of which forms the basis of a pretty 
lively discussion. 

I hope this is useful.
Alice Vachss






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