Discussion List for campus-based and allied personnel working to end gender-based violence on campus.

["Wanda Viento" <>]

I agree that it can be misleading, especially the reference to having
interviewed "date" rapists and yet most of the "advice" is around
stranger assaults.

W 


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Wanda L.E. Viento, M.S.W., Ph.D.
Associate Director, Student Development 
Coordinator, Women's Center
Boise State University 
1910 University Drive
Boise, Idaho 83725-1335
208-426-4259
http://womenscenter.boisestate.edu

"If Rosa Parks had taken a poll before she sat down in the bus in
Montgomery, she'd still be standing."  ~~Mary Frances Berry, U.S. Civil
Rights Commissioner 





>>> "Docis, Diane" 
>>> <>
>>>  10/31/2007 12:32 PM >>>
I've used this email and others like it in presentations where we
discuss the rampant "prevention" messages that girls and women get.  I
refer to it as stranger danger for grown-ups and we discuss how the
messages are often contradictory, ineffective, victim-blaming, etc.
and
serve to limit women's freedom/mobility and increase women's fear but
not their safety. 


Diane Docis
Coordinator
Sexual Assault Education and Prevention Program
University of Toledo
Student Medical Center MS-513
Toledo, OH 43606
phone 419-530-3431
fax     419-530-3499
  

-----Original Message-----
From: 

 
[mailto:]
 On Behalf Of S. Daniel
Carter
Sent: Wednesday, October 31, 2007 12:36 PM
To: 

 
Subject: FW: Through a Rapist's Eyes (No Joke)

The forwarded e-mail below titled "Through a Rapist's Eyes (No Joke)"
was received from a student who'd received it from another student and
I
was wondering if anyone on the list was familiar with it or the
original
source?
This appears to be cobbled together from a number of internet postings
of questionable credibility and has been circulating for over a year
but
that is about all I've been able to track down. Any insights would be
appreciated.

********************************
S. Daniel Carter
Senior Vice President
Security On Campus, Inc.
http://www.securityoncampus.org/ ;
e-mail:
 

------ Forwarded Message

  Through a Rapist's Eyes (No Joke)

  <>
    A group o f rapists and date rapists in prison were interviewed on
what they look for in a potential victim and here are some interesting
facts:
   
    1) The first thing men look for in a potential victim is
hairstyle.
They are most likely to go after a wo man with a ponytail, bun, braid
or
other hairstyle that can easily be grabbed . They are also likely to
go
after a woman with long hair. Women with short hair are not common
targets. 
   
    2) The second thing men look for is clothing. They will look for
women who's clothing is easy to remove quickly. Many of them carry
scissors around specifically to cut clothing.
   
    3) They also look for women on their cell phone, searching through
their purse, or < B doing other activities while walking because they
are off-guard and can be easily overpowered.
   
    4) Men are most likely to attack & rape in the early morning,
between 5:00a.m. and 8:30a. m.
   
    5) The number one place women are abducted from/attacked is
grocery
store parking lots. Number two: is office parking lots/garages.
Number three: is public restrooms.
   
    6) The thing about these men is tha t they are looking to grab a
woman and quickly move her to another location where they don't have
to
worry about getting caught.
   
    7) Only 2% said they carried weapons because rape carries a
3-5 year sentence but rape with a weapon is 15-20 years.
   
    8) If you put up any kind of a fight at all, they get discouraged
because it only takes a minute or two for them to realize that going
after you isn't worth it because it will be time-consuming.
   
    9) These men said they would not pick on women who have umbrellas
,
or other similar objects that can be used from a distance, in their
hands. Keys are not a deterrent because you have to get really close
to
t he attacker to use them as a weapon. So, the idea is to convince
these
guys you're not worth it.
   
    10) Several defense mechanisms he taught us are: If someone is
following b ehind you on a street or in a garage or with you in an
elevator or stairwell, look them in the face and ask them a question ,
like what time is it, or make general small talk: 'I can't believe it
is
so cold out here,' 'we're in for a bad winter.' Now you've seen their
face and could identify them in a line-up; you lose appeal as a
target.
   
    11) If someone is coming toward you , hold out your hands in front
of you and yell STOP or STAY BACK ! Most of the rapists this man
talked
to said they'd leave a woman alone if she yelled or showed that she
would not be afraid to fight back . Again, they are looking for an
EASY
target. 
   
    12) If you carry pepper spray (this instructor was a huge advocate
of it and carries it with him wherever he goe s) , yell I HAVE PEPPER
SPRAY and holding it out will be a deterrent.
   
    13) If someone grabs you , you can't beat them with st rength but
you can by outsmarting them If you are grabbed around the waist from
behind, pinch the attacker either under the arm (between the elbow and
armpit) OR in the upper inner thigh VERY VERY HARD . One woman in a
class this guy taught told him she used the underarm pinch on a guy
who
was trying to date rape her and was so upset she broke through the
skin
and tore out muscle strands - the guy needed stitches. Try pinching
yourself in those places as hard as you can stand it - it hurts.
   
    14) After the initial hit, always GO for the GROIN . I know from a
particularly unfortunate experience that if you slap a guy's parts it
is
extremely painful . You might think that you'll anger the guy and make
him want to hurt you more, but the thing these rapists told our
instructor is that they want a woman who wil l not cause a lot of
trouble. Start causing trouble and he's out of there.
   
    15) W hen the guy puts his hands up to you , grab his first two
fingers and bend them back as far as possible with as much pressure
pushing down on them as possible . The instructor did it to me without
using much pressure, and I ended up on my knees and both knuckles
cracked audibly. 
   
    16) Of course the things we always hear still apply. Always be
aware
of your surroundings , take someone with you if you can and if you see
any odd behavior, don't dismiss it, go with your instincts!!!
   
   
    You may feel a little silly at the time, but you'd feel much worse
if the guy really was trouble.
   
    1 . Tip from Tae Kwon Do : The elbow is the strongest point on
your
body. If you are close enough to use it, do!
   
    2. Learned this from a tourist guide in New Orleans . If a robber
as
ks for your wallet and/or purse, DO NOT HAND IT TO HIM . Toss it away
from you...chances ar e that he is more interested in your wallet
and/or
purse than you, and he will go for the wallet/purse. RUN LIKE MAD IN
THE
OTHER DIRECTION!
   
    3. If you are ever thrown into the trunk of a car, kick out the
back
tail lights and stick your arm out the hole and start waving
    like crazy. The driver won't see you, but everybody else will.
This
has saved lives.
   
    4. Women have a tendency to get into their cars after shopping,
eating, working, etc., and just sit (doing their checkbook, or making
a
list, etc.) DON'T DO THIS! The predator will be watching you, and this
is the perfect opportunity for him to get in on the passenger side,
put
a gun to your head, and tell you where to go. AS SOON AS YOU GET INTO
YOUR CAR, LOCK THE DOORS AND LEAVE.
   
        a. If someone is in the car with a gun to your head DO NOT
DRIVE
OFF, repeat: DO NOT DRIVE OFF! Instead gun the engine and speed into
anything, wrecking the car. Your Air Bag will save you. If the person
is
in the back seat they will get the worst of it. As soon as the car
crashes bail out and run. It is better than having them find your body
in a remote location.
   
    b . A few notes about getting into your car in a parking lot or
parking garage: 
   
    A.) Be aware: look around you, look into your car, at the
passenger
side floor, and in the back seat.
   
    B.) If you are parked next to a big van, enter your car from the
passenger door. Most serial killers attack their victims by pulling
    them into their vans while the women are attempting to get into
their cars. 
   
    C.) Look at the car parked on the driver's side of your vehicle,
and
the passenger side. If a male is sitting alone in the seat nearest
your
car, you may want to wa lk back into the mall, or work, and get a
guard/policeman to wa lk you back out.
   
    IT IS ALWAYS BETTER TO BE SAFE THAN SORRY. (And better paranoid
than
dead.)
   
    6. ALWAYS take the elevator instead of the stairs.
(Stairwells are horrible places to be alone and the perfect crime
spot.
This is
    especially true at NIGHT!)
   
    7. If the predator has a gun and you are not under his control,
ALWAYS RUN! The predator will only hit you (a running target) 4 in 100
times. And even then, it most likely WILL NOT be a vital organ.
RUN, preferably in a zigzag pattern!
   
    8. As women, we are always trying to be sympathetic: STOP! It may
get you raped or killed. Ted Bundy, the serial killer, was a
good-looking, well-educated man, who ALWAYS played on the sympathies
of
unsuspecting women. He walked with a cane, or a limp, and often asked
'for help' into his vehicle or with his vehic le, w hich is when he
abduct ed his next victim.
   
    9. Another Safety Point: Someone just told me that her friend
heard
a crying baby on her porch the night before last, and she called the
police because it was late and she thought it was weird. The police
told
her 'Whatever you do, DO NOT open the door.
    The lady then said that it sounded like the baby had crawled near
a
window, and she was worried that it would crawl to the street and get
run over. The policeman said, 'We already have a unit on the way,
whatever you do, DO NOT open the door.' He told her that they think a
serial killer has a baby's cry recorded and uses it to coax women out
of
their homes thinking that someone dropped off a baby. He said they
have
not verified it , but have had several calls by women saying that they
hear baby's cries outside their doors when they're home alone at
night.
   
   
    Please pass this on and DO NOT open the door for a crying baby
----This should be taken seriously because the Crying Baby theory was
mentioned on America's Most Wanted this past Saturday when they
profiled
the serial killer in Louisiana.
   
   
 
 

 </> 

 
 
 


------ End of Forwarded Message

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