Discussion List for campus-based and allied personnel working to end gender-based violence on campus.

["Harrington, Rebecca" <>]

Here’s my two cents having come from a community program into the college position.

1.       The terminology is just not relatable to young adults. ‘domestic’ comes with the connotation of ‘old(er)’, heterosexual, married, cisgender, physical abuse, etc. I also never hear the term ‘dating’ on a college campus. I had personally made the switch on my campus to only using the term relationship violence and I’m kind of aggravated over the fact that the new policies are making me have to start using those terms again, it feels backwards.

 

2.       Similar to the terms ‘rape’ and ‘sexual violence’ people don’t necessarily want to associate themselves with the label. As in not wanting what happened to them labeled as ‘rape’ or the actions they took to get the sex they wanted as an act of ‘rape.’

 

3.       As for the stalking I think it’s hard for young adults who have been raised on social media to see ‘stalking’. Think about the terminology of ‘facebook stalking’. (I could rant on here about 50 shades of grey, but the summary is as a culture we are confused about what is stalking and unhealthy and what is flattering/healthy/nice ways to communicate your interest (or lack of) in another).

 

4.       Working with Mandates. And at the end of the day, finances and policy. If there is a mandate to do something, it will be met. Most likely at the expense of something else. I’m lucky to be a college where I get to spend a large part of my job addressing interpersonal violence and have others in roles that naturally back me up.  Many campuses have no one officially in the role. The other part with mandates, and I have tried to be very vocal in my local & state systems on this, is  that the negative side of policy & mandate is that it creates an environment where people are afraid to ask for help for fear that it will trigger an investigation/audit.

 

5.       Experience. I guess I’m also lucky that I got two years of experience in a local program where I was exposed to the realities. I don’t have a text book or the ‘right’ degree to back me up sometimes with my choices, instead I will always have the faces of those women, men and children that touched my life in a much deeper way.

 

From: benazeman [mailto:]
Sent: Monday, October 05, 2015 4:29 AM
To: WRACL
Cc: ; ; ;
Subject: Re: Thoughts on why DV historically left out of campus work

 

Great conversation, Juliette and Susan!

 

I'm not sure why, but from the local DV program point of view, it's been very frustrating.  And I'm thrilled it's changing. 

 

I remember working for several local domestic violence programs years ago, approaching local colleges to collaborate.  They never seemed to have time for us - sometimes we'd read the newspaper and see that they'd invited a DV speaker and hadn't even told us, much less invited us!  Did others from DV programs have a similar experience?

 

Until the violence stops,

 

Ben Atherton-Zeman

Trainings and performances to stop sexism and gender-based violence

http://www.voicesofmen.org

On Sunday, October 4, 2015 at 11:04:32 PM UTC-4, juliettegrimmett wrote:

Hey folks -

I hope you are all well.  I'd love to hear your thoughts about why you feel dating/domestic violence and stalking have historically been left out of campus prevention and response programs.  I'm compiling a list and very much value your expertise.  You are welcome of course to make this a larger discussion over the listservs, or email me off line. 

Thank you!

--

Peace,

Juliette Grimmett, MPH
Chrysalis Network, Founder
(919) 624-9575
www.chrysalisnetwork.com 

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