Discussion List for campus-based and allied personnel working to end gender-based violence on campus.

By Wendy J. Murphy




                
                
The Patriot Ledger

                
Posted Oct 09, 2009 @ 07:00 PM

                
Last update Oct 09, 2009 @ 10:07 PM

                


                
QUINCY — 
 
                

David
Letterman’s admission that he “had sex” with women on his staff was
supposed to be a painful revelation – forced on Dave by an extortionist
who hoped to make 2 million bucks by keeping the information secret in
exchange for a big pile of hush money.


It’s looking more like a ratings grab and a skit.


It’s hard to argue against the sentiment that no matter what
Letterman did – extortion is worse. Unless he committed a crime, or the
women file sexual harassment complaints, whatever he did will pale in
comparison to extortion.


Nevertheless, it was weird that his admission to having “sex” with 
subordinates was met with applause from his audience.


Letterman deserves credit for not sugar-coating the story with
claims that he’d had real “relationships” with the women. But while
honesty might have helped to deflect opposition voices, the fact that
he was unabashed about it is no reason to give the guy an ovation.


Sexual harassment has been a serious problem for American women for
a very long time. It’s hard to be valued based on intelligence and
professional skills when promotions are handed out based on who has the
most sex with the boss. It’s hard for men, too, 
to be taken seriously
in such an environment no matter which gender is targeted.


Letterman already knows all this. He also knows having sex with
female subordinates causes harm to society in the same way it would
cause social harm if he’d refused to hire black people to work on his
show because of their skin color.


His failure to acknowledge this is part of the reason his audience reacted so 
inappropriately.


Instead of treating the issue with the seriousness it deserved – and
taking full responsibility for what happened, he said it would be
“embarrassing” to him and his family, and to the women involved, if the
story were made public. This was a curious comment given that his
“family” did nothing wrong and has no reason to feel embarrassed. And
he had no business including the “women involved” in his blame game. He
was their boss. Even if they crawled at his feet and begged for sex –
he had a duty to back off.


Letterman’s apology to his wife similarly lacked appreciation for
his predominant role in the situation: “If you hurt a person and it’s
your responsibility, you try to fix it.” This linguistic duck has
Letterman talking about himself in the third person, as if he’s
lecturing others about some unknown person’s bad behavior.


One of the worst things Letterman did was crack jokes and enable
comedians Steve Martin and Martin Short to appear on his program and
yuck it up.


Even
 the fiercest feminist can have a sense of humor about these
things, but making light of sexual harassment in the midst of a
half-baked apology is unacceptable from a man whose show has the power
to influence the attitudes of millions of people on an important issue
that affects all women and girls.


Here’s a Top Five list of better ideas for the Late-Night lothario.


5. Stop smiling when you talk about “sex” with staffers.


4. Pretend your 6-year-old son is a girl – and she grows up to work
for a guy like you. If she told you her boss asked her for sexual
favors – what would you say? Ask and answer this question out loud on
your show.


3. Invite Eleanor Smeal on your program to have a serious
conversation about sexual harassment. Even if millions of viewers click
away because it won’t be funny – it will matter.


2. Apologize for real – not only to your wife but also to all women.
Forget the monologue for once and don’t try to make quips. Just look
into the camera and say, “I’m sorry. I was wrong.”


1. Admit that if you hadn’t been the victim of extortion, you never
would have apologized. This level of humility will go far to establish
the sincerity of your contrition.






Wendy Murphy is a leading victims rights advocate and nationally
recognized television legal analyst. She is an adjunct professor at New
England Law in Boston. She can be reached at 
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Read more of her columns at                     The Daily Beast               
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