Discussion List for campus-based and allied personnel working to end gender-based violence on campus.

["Lazzarini, Donald" <>]

Ben and readers,

Sexual harassment is a civil violation, so Foubert's characterization of
O'Reilly being found guilty does not accurately reflect either the
concepts of civil litigation or the actual outcome of the suit filed
against Mr. O'Reilly. In a basic attempt to be responsible and fair on a
national list serve I spent about 30 minutes on line checking "facts".
Bottom Line: The civil complaint was settled out of court with all the
non-disclosure pieces involved. I strongly caution against making
libelous statements based on faulty memories. It can be an expensive
venting process.

I looked up the Alexa foundation as Ben requested. I will be sending a
check to support them.

A little heads up. Accountability and Rape empowerment models are light
years apart when it comes to encouraging prosecution. I really wonder if
the response to O'Reilly is about his past behavior or his politics?
Would Bill Clinton be acceptable as a speaker? Would we see the same
outrage from those protesting this event? The past allegations against
him were even more egregious but in line with the sexual harassment
continuum. Just curious? It may be gut check time.

I did e-mail Alexa foundation to place their backlash in a larger
context. Both Wendy Murphy and Bill O'Reilly are very pro-prosecution
and holding criminal perpetrator's accountable within the criminal
justice system (a system both Murphy and O'Reilly continue to engage for
the purpose of improving its function (though in very different ways).
Their work creates conflict with a belief system that views the criminal
justice system as another perpetrator who takes power away from the
victim, just like their rapist did. A rape exam that is described as
being raped all over again. These belief systems are embraced by many in
the advocate world.

I encouraged Alexa Foundation to seek funding and speakers from those
who support what they are doing, because it is the right thing to do.
Does anyone on this list serve routinely view O'Reilly on television? It
would be interesting to know if he has grown in his understanding of
these issues and in how he treats others? After all, the men's movement
is about reaching men, to educate them about the issues and change their
behavior. Maybe O'Reilly has a different perspective on work place
issues than he did prior to the advent of the complaint. Maybe speaking
for Alexa is part of helping others and offers another opportunity for
his personal growth and to gain better understanding of the issues
facing women abused by males? I personally, would deny no man an
opportunity to learn from the brave women that surround us!

Don Lazzarini
Brotherhood Empowerment Against Rape







-----Original Message-----
From: 

[mailto:]
 On Behalf Of

Sent: Thursday, March 19, 2009 6:11 AM
To: 

Subject: SAPC Digest, Vol 1161, Issue 1

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Today's Topics:

   1. Support the "It Happened to Alexa Foundation" today
      (Ben Atherton-Zeman)
   2. I have to disagree with you here (Foubert, John)
   3. Ideas for SAAM? College Campus (Molly Ivy)
   4. Re: I have to disagree with you here (Michelle N. Issadore)
   5. very well put (Foubert, John)
   6. RE: [Prevent-Connect] Ideas for SAAM? College Campus
      (Lauren Sogor)


----------------------------------------------------------------------

Message: 1
Date: Wed, 18 Mar 2009 12:35:10 -0400
From: "Ben Atherton-Zeman" 
<>
Subject: Support the "It Happened to Alexa Foundation" today
To: 
<>,
 
<>,
        
<>
Cc: 

Message-ID: 
<>
Content-Type: text/plain;       charset="iso-8859-1"

Hello, friends!  If you have a second today, please write to the "It
Happened To Alexa Foundation" at 
.
  The
Foundation supports rape survivors and their families - they pay for
travel expenses during the litigation process.  

They are holding a fundraiser tomorrow in Palm Beach, Florida.  The
keynote speaker they chose was Bill O'Reilly.  I know O'Reilly wouldn't
be most of our first choices for keynote speaker, given many of his
comments.  But an unfortunate thing has happened as a result of others'
outrage.  

These fine folks who are trying to help victims are getting hammered.
Phone calls, emails, blogs are all slamming the Foundation as a result
of their choice of keynote speaker.  I've just spoken with Foundation
founder Stacey Branchini - she sounded very shaken.  She said the 1000
emails have included advocates who say she's betraying our movement,
survivors and survivor's families who say she's betraying survivors.
Some of the emails have been threatening - others promise that busloads
of folks from New York and New Jersey are headed down to Palm Beach to
protest their fundraiser.  

I can't believe that our entire movement is willing to protest outside a
fundraiser of one of our own groups!  I'm convinced that those who are
coming down on a bus to protest their fundraiser do not speak for all of
us.  So please take a moment and find out the work that the Foundation
does: www.ithappenedtoalexa.org.  Please write them a brief email of
support before their fundraiser tomorrow.  Stacey says they are getting
huge amounts of "anti" emails and phone calls, and very few supportive
ones.  I've organized fundraisers, as I'm sure many of you have - they
are stressful enough without having to deal with this!

In addition, they've had to spend more money than anticipated paying for
security, not to mention the staff time it's taken to deal with this
tide of antipathy.  So if you feel moved to make a financial donation to
the Foundation (which I am doing today), I'd personally appreciate that.
If you can't, at least take a moment to write them an email showing your
support for their work to help rape victims.  

I am not writing this email on behalf of the Foundation.  I am writing
as someone who cares about rape survivors and their advocates.  I am
writing as Stacey Branchini's friend, and as her daughter Alexa's friend
- also as Wendy Murphy's friend as she is another keynote speaker.
Whatever your feelings about O'Reilly, please give this foundation a
shout of support at 

 - better yet, leave them
a message at their office in New York State: 716-754-9105.

Thanks so much!  

Until the violence stops, Ben.  
 
Ben Atherton-Zeman, Maynard, MA USA
Actor, Comedian, Feminist and Husband
Presenting a One-Man Play: "Voices of Men," http://www.voicesofmen.org
(video clips available on the site)
Booking information: 978-897-3619
 
Quote of the Month: March, 2009: Women's History Month
"HIStory repeats itself until HERstory is told!"
- Nicole Blevins (who said she heard it in college - does anyone know
the source?), Monroe, NC

Come to the Men Can Stop Rape conference in Washington, DC April 14-15:
http://mencanstoprape.org/conference/

------------------------------

Message: 2
Date: Wed, 18 Mar 2009 11:56:14 -0500
From: "Foubert, John" 
<>
Subject: I have to disagree with you here
To: 
""
 
<>
Message-ID:
        
<>
Content-Type: text/plain; charset="us-ascii"

Ben,

I have to disagree with you here.  This group already has a great
keynote speaker with Wendy Murphy.  They don't need two keynote speakers
for their fundraiser.  If you are friends with someone in their
organization, in my view you should use that relationship with them to
let them know that Bill O'Reilly is a bad choice of speakers for this
event.  As I recall, wasn't he found guilty of sexual harassment not too
long ago?  Please don't quote me on that as my memory could be faulty,
but I'm fairly certain of it.  When well meaning organizations are
making bad decisions, it is the role of more senior people in the
movement to counsel them out of these bad decisions.  It reminds me of a
recent incident where I became aware that a new group whose stated goal
is to promote victim empowerment decided to hire a stripper for their
fundraiser.  I counseled them repeatedly not to do so, showed them
extensive research on the connections between stripping and violence
against women, etc
 .  In the end, the organization rebuffed my attempts to educate them,
but I tried.  I think this is another case where an immature
organization doesn't understand what they are doing and needs help
figuring out what to do.  They need to drop O'Reilly today, and if you
have a relationship with them, they need you to tell them.

John

**************************************
John D. Foubert, Ph.D., LLC
Associate Professor and Program Coordinator
College Student Development Master's Degree Program
Oklahoma State University
School of Educational Studies
314 Willard Hall
Stillwater, OK 74078
(405) 744-1480
(405) 744-7758 fax




------------------------------

Message: 3
Date: Wed, 18 Mar 2009 10:08:53 -0500
From: "Molly Ivy" 
<>
Subject: Ideas for SAAM? College Campus
To: 
<>,
     
<>
Message-ID:
        
<>
Content-Type: text/plain;       charset="US-ASCII"

 

With sexual assault awareness month quickly approaching, does anyone
have any ideas or suggestions for low-cost programs, booths, activities,
etc.,?

I bring the Silent Witness each fall?

 I work at a medium sized University, and aside from speaking in some of
the classes, I would like to do a couple of fresh, new activities, and
of course am working with limited funds.

 

Any ideas would be very appreciated.

 

Molly Ivy, LMSW

Counselor

ASU Counseling Center

870-972-2318



 



------------------------------

Message: 4
Date: Wed, 18 Mar 2009 13:26:46 -0400
From: "Michelle N. Issadore" 
<>
Subject: Re: I have to disagree with you here
To: "Foubert, John" 
<>
Cc: 
""
 
<>
Message-ID: 
<>
Content-Type: text/plain; charset=windows-1252; format=flowed

Without inserting myself into a particular situation I know too little 
about, I would just like to encourage those with or without seniority or

years of experience to step in respectfully when they see or hear 
something they feel isn't right. Mentors can be wonderful for this, but 
we all have our own unique contributions to make to the field and 
newcomers may have a different perspective to offer.

Best,
Michelle

Foubert, John wrote:
> Ben,
>
> I have to disagree with you here.  This group already has a great
keynote speaker with Wendy Murphy.  They don't need two keynote speakers
for their fundraiser.  If you are friends with someone in their
organization, in my view you should use that relationship with them to
let them know that Bill O'Reilly is a bad choice of speakers for this
event.  As I recall, wasn't he found guilty of sexual harassment not too
long ago?  Please don't quote me on that as my memory could be faulty,
but I'm fairly certain of it.  When well meaning organizations are
making bad decisions, it is the role of more senior people in the
movement to counsel them out of these bad decisions.  It reminds me of a
recent incident where I became aware that a new group whose stated goal
is to promote victim empowerment decided to hire a stripper for their
fundraiser.  I counseled them repeatedly not to do so, showed them
extensive research on the connections between stripping and violence
against women, e
 tc
>  .  In the end, the organization rebuffed my attempts to educate them,
but I tried.  I think this is another case where an immature
organization doesn't understand what they are doing and needs help
figuring out what to do.  They need to drop O'Reilly today, and if you
have a relationship with them, they need you to tell them.
>
> John
>
> **************************************
> John D. Foubert, Ph.D., LLC
> Associate Professor and Program Coordinator
> College Student Development Master's Degree Program
> Oklahoma State University
> School of Educational Studies
> 314 Willard Hall
> Stillwater, OK 74078
> (405) 744-1480
> (405) 744-7758 fax
> 
>
> _______________________________________________
> SAPC mailing list
> 
> https://list.mail.virginia.edu/mailman/listinfo/sapc
>   

-- 
Michelle N. Issadore
Assistant Director
Lehigh University Women?s Center
University Center, Room C201A
29 Trembley Drive 
Bethlehem, PA 18015


(610) 758-5808
(610) 758-6960 fax
http://www.lehigh.edu/~inwnc





------------------------------

Message: 5
Date: Wed, 18 Mar 2009 12:43:24 -0500
From: "Foubert, John" 
<>
Subject: very well put
To: 
""
 
<>
Message-ID:
        
<>
Content-Type: text/plain; charset="us-ascii"

Michelle,

Very well put.  I apologize if I came across sounding as though only
people involved in the movement for a long time should give out advice
like this.  In retrospect, I think those who have been in the movement
for a long time (and how long "long time" is, I don't know) have a
special responsibility to give out such advice.  HOWEVER, all of us
should work together to speak with one voice to end violence against
women and remind each other when a tactic is really outlandish.  I am
very sorry if I implied that you or others shouldn't do so.  That is not
at all what I meant to imply.  Thank you for bringing my omission to the
forefront.



John

**************************************
John D. Foubert, Ph.D., LLC
Associate Professor and Program Coordinator
College Student Development Master's Degree Program
Oklahoma State University
School of Educational Studies
314 Willard Hall
Stillwater, OK 74078
(405) 744-1480
(405) 744-7758 fax




------------------------------

Message: 6
Date: Thu, 19 Mar 2009 09:11:06 -0400
From: "Lauren Sogor" 
<>
Subject: RE: [Prevent-Connect] Ideas for SAAM? College Campus
To: 
<>,
     
<>
Message-ID:
        
<>
Content-Type: text/plain;       charset="us-ascii"

Hey Molly (and others),

The National Sexual Violence Resource Center has an online list of
suggested events/activities that would work for any setting (including
colleges). You can access the list here:
http://www.nsvrc.org/saam/resources/events. In terms of campus-specific
events, NSVRC will be focusing our 2010 SAAM campaign on campuses
exclusively, so we'll have more ideas to offer at that point as well.
Thus far, I have heard from schools that do a wide range of activities,
from prevention-focused workshops to Take Back the Night rallies. Two
things I can think of that might be different would be a flag campaign
(you'd have to purchase small flags, but they are fairly cheap) where
you set up X amount of flags on your school's quad, representing the #
of annual victims (VSDVAA's Red Flag Campaign
<http://www.theredflagcampaign.org/>  has this as one element of their
comprehensive campaign currently being done on VA college campuses), and
then have a nearby table to explain the activity to students. Another
idea would be to have some kind of hand stamp created that says "Got
consent?" or some other slogan/ your website, and work with local bars
to use the stamp at the door during the month of April (sidenote: you
might worry that this would only reach students who are 21+, but MANY
underage students sneak into college bars, at least in my experience).
Hope that helps!

 

A note to the list: if you do have other ideas to share with Molly and
the group, I'd love to be included on your email responses! I'll be
collecting suggestions all year for the 2010 campaign and appreciate the
input. Thank you!

Lauren

 

 

E. Lauren Sogor, MPH

Prevention Campaign Specialist


National Sexual Violence Resource Center

123 North Enola Drive, Enola, PA 17025

717.909.0710 x118

877.739.3895 Toll Free

 

April is Sexual Assault Awareness Month!
Visit www.nsvrc.org/saam for more information and to get involved. 

________________________________

From: 

[mailto:]
 On Behalf Of Molly Ivy
Sent: Wednesday, March 18, 2009 11:09 AM
To: 
;
 

Subject: [Prevent-Connect] Ideas for SAAM? College Campus

 

 

With sexual assault awareness month quickly approaching, does anyone
have any ideas or suggestions for low-cost programs, booths, activities,
etc.,?

I bring the Silent Witness each fall?

 I work at a medium sized University, and aside from speaking in some of
the classes, I would like to do a couple of fresh, new activities, and
of course am working with limited funds.

 

Any ideas would be very appreciated.

 

Molly Ivy, LMSW

Counselor

ASU Counseling Center

870-972-2318


 
<mailto:>
 

 

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