Discussion List for campus-based and allied personnel working to end gender-based violence on campus.

["Ben Atherton-Zeman" <>]

Hello, friends!  If you have a second today, please write to the "It Happened 
To Alexa Foundation" at 
.
  The Foundation supports rape survivors and their families - they pay for 
travel expenses during the litigation process.  

They are holding a fundraiser tomorrow in Palm Beach, Florida.  The keynote 
speaker they chose was Bill O'Reilly.  I know O'Reilly wouldn't be most of 
our first choices for keynote speaker, given many of his comments.  But an 
unfortunate thing has happened as a result of others' outrage.  

These fine folks who are trying to help victims are getting hammered.  Phone 
calls, emails, blogs are all slamming the Foundation as a result of their 
choice of keynote speaker.  I've just spoken with Foundation founder Stacey 
Branchini - she sounded very shaken.  She said the 1000 emails have included 
advocates who say she's betraying our movement, survivors and survivor's 
families who say she's betraying survivors.  Some of the emails have been 
threatening - others promise that busloads of folks from New York and New 
Jersey are headed down to Palm Beach to protest their fundraiser.  

I can't believe that our entire movement is willing to protest outside a 
fundraiser of one of our own groups!  I'm convinced that those who are coming 
down on a bus to protest their fundraiser do not speak for all of us.  So 
please take a moment and find out the work that the Foundation does: 
www.ithappenedtoalexa.org.  Please write them a brief email of support before 
their fundraiser tomorrow.  Stacey says they are getting huge amounts of 
"anti" emails and phone calls, and very few supportive ones.  I've organized 
fundraisers, as I'm sure many of you have - they are stressful enough without 
having to deal with this!

In addition, they've had to spend more money than anticipated paying for 
security, not to mention the staff time it's taken to deal with this tide of 
antipathy.  So if you feel moved to make a financial donation to the 
Foundation (which I am doing today), I'd personally appreciate that.  If you 
can't, at least take a moment to write them an email showing your support for 
their work to help rape victims.  

I am not writing this email on behalf of the Foundation.  I am writing as 
someone who cares about rape survivors and their advocates.  I am writing as 
Stacey Branchini's friend, and as her daughter Alexa's friend - also as Wendy 
Murphy's friend as she is another keynote speaker.  Whatever your feelings 
about O'Reilly, please give this foundation a shout of support at 

 - better yet, leave them a message at their office in New York State: 
716-754-9105.

Thanks so much!  

Until the violence stops, Ben.  
 
Ben Atherton-Zeman, Maynard, MA USA
Actor, Comedian, Feminist and Husband
Presenting a One-Man Play: "Voices of Men," http://www.voicesofmen.org ;(video 
clips available on the site)
Booking information: 978-897-3619
 
Quote of the Month: March, 2009: Women's History Month
"HIStory repeats itself until HERstory is told!"
- Nicole Blevins (who said she heard it in college - does anyone know the 
source?), Monroe, NC

Come to the Men Can Stop Rape conference in Washington, DC April 14-15: 
http://mencanstoprape.org/conference/
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Date: Wed, 18 Mar 2009 11:56:14 -0500
Subject: I have to disagree with you here
Thread-Topic: I have to disagree with you here
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Ben,

I have to disagree with you here.  This group already has a great keynote 
speaker with Wendy Murphy.  They don't need two keynote speakers for their 
fundraiser.  If you are friends with someone in their organization, in my 
view you should use that relationship with them to let them know that Bill 
O'Reilly is a bad choice of speakers for this event.  As I recall, wasn't he 
found guilty of sexual harassment not too long ago?  Please don't quote me on 
that as my memory could be faulty, but I'm fairly certain of it.  When well 
meaning organizations are making bad decisions, it is the role of more senior 
people in the movement to counsel them out of these bad decisions.  It 
reminds me of a recent incident where I became aware that a new group whose 
stated goal is to promote victim empowerment decided to hire a stripper for 
their fundraiser.  I counseled them repeatedly not to do so, showed them 
extensive research on the connections between stripping and violence against 
women, etc.  In the end, the organization rebuffed my attempts to educate 
them, but I tried.  I think this is another case where an immature 
organization doesn't understand what they are doing and needs help figuring 
out what to do.  They need to drop O'Reilly today, and if you have a 
relationship with them, they need you to tell them.

John

**************************************
John D. Foubert, Ph.D., LLC
Associate Professor and Program Coordinator
College Student Development Master's Degree Program
Oklahoma State University
School of Educational Studies
314 Willard Hall
Stillwater, OK 74078
(405) 744-1480
(405) 744-7758 fax