Discussion List for campus-based and allied personnel working to end gender-based violence on campus.

["Juliette Grimmett" <>]

Excellent article - please read if you have the time
 

Dear Guys: Tough Times Call for More Safety Help

By Heidi Schnakenberg - WeNews commentator

Editor's Note: The following is a commentary. The opinions expressed
are those of the author and not necessarily the views of Women's Enews.

(WOMENSENEWS)--A 3-year-old girl was raped and sexually assaulted by an
adult male and the act was recorded on a videotape discovered in
Nevada.

Authorities investigating the case at the time seemed traumatized by
what they saw and made the unusual decision to show the girl's face on
television in a nationwide call for help. A haunting image of the girl
dressed in leopard print lingerie appeared all over the news.

As we watched, my husband was mortified in a way that I had not seen
before. "I can't take it. I feel sick," he said.

That was about a year ago.

At the time I was interviewing an inmate at a New York correctional
facility for a separate project and asked him what he thought about it.
He coldly replied, "The man who did that should receive the death
penalty. No, send him to jail and let the inmates kill him. Because
after that, they will."

My husband, this inmate and other men I know displayed the same kind of
instant and visceral reaction to this story that most women show when
they so much as hear about rapes and other types of gender-based
violence. The knowledge that there was a video seemed to make it more
real.

Most domestic and sex crimes occur in private and it's rare to witness
the violence. It's even rarer to have indisputable evidence of the
crime.

Ever since I was a kid and witnessed my mother suffer domestic abuse, I
have wondered at men's lack of direct involvement in preventing violence
against women and girls in the first place.

Wrong Focus

The focus is usually on women not doing enough to protect themselves or
their children, while far less attention is paid to the perpetrators.
Why aren't more men outraged at their fellow males' actions and
motivated to end it, once and for all? Why are women left to pick up the
pieces? Isn't this a man's problem?

I believe many men feel out of touch with normally well-hidden violence
against women and girls and have a hard time absorbing the reality of
their plight.

Fortunately, a shift on this seems underway.

Joe Biden, the Democrats' vice presidential nominee, has been proudly
citing his authorship of the groundbreaking 1994 Violence Against Women
Act throughout the campaign, including during the debate earlier this
month with the GOP's nominee, Gov. Sarah Palin.

As the U.S. economy heads into rough times the need for more of this
kind of male advocacy couldn't be more urgent.

Across the country, reports of violence against women are on the rise.

The souring economy has been blamed for dramatic spikes in domestic
violence in recent headlines in California, Louisiana, Michigan, Nevada,
New Hampshire, North Carolina, Wisconsin, Rhode Island and West
Virginia. Pennsylvania has had a devastating increase in domestic
violence fatalities.

Violence Rises With Job Loss

An extensive 2004 report by the National Institute of Justice found
that the rate of violence against women increases as male unemployment
increases. When a woman's male partner is employed, the rate of violence
is 4.7 percent. It's 7.5 percent when the male experiences one period of
unemployment. It's 12.3 percent when the male experiences two or more
periods of unemployment.

A female victim's lack of money, meanwhile, is a common reason why she
may refuse to leave an abusive partner, according to the National
Coalition Against Domestic Violence.

As domestic violence support groups and state and local authorities
brace for a possible recession, some male activists are working hard to
make their voices heard in the fight to stop violence against women in
any circumstance.

I'd like to hand a megaphone to Patrick Partida, outgoing president of
the University of Texas organization Men Against Violence, which treats
violence against women as a male problem.

"The problem is not women not protecting themselves but men attacking
women," says Partida. "The blame must be put in the correct place. If
all men dedicated themselves to stopping men's violence against women,
then complete eradication can become a reality."

According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention and the
World Health Organization, an estimated 1 in 4 women in the United
States--and 1 in 3 worldwide--will be a victim of male violence in her
lifetime, making these crimes some of the most widespread in the world.

Teaching Anti-Female Behavior

Partida says men are taught from a young age to be anti-female in their
thoughts and actions. "They learn this behavior from the media, peers,
parents and even teachers. Many men find methods of fulfilling their
perceived need for power through

external means, which often include being violent and instilling fear
in women."

He adds that men suffer a great amount of fear, especially of each
other and of not living up to the image of masculinity in our culture.
"The greatest thing for men to do now is to question their own beliefs,
those of their male friends and family."

Dick Bathrick, co-founder of Men Stopping Violence, agrees. "In a
patriarchal society, the notion that certain groups are entitled to
dominate other groups is normalized," he says. "We hold women
responsible for the problem and the solution. Men are socialized to
control and dominate, and to stop violence against women men have to
look at themselves. We must create safe spaces for women, listen to them
and open our eyes."

Todd Minerson, executive director of the White Ribbon Campaign, based
in Montreal, Canada, says the cause is gaining ground. Sixteen years ago
White Ribbon started with three men in Montreal and now has active
campaign groups, organizers and advocates in 57 countries. Todd says the
campaign asks men not to remain silent. "Most men and boys actually do
sympathize with women. But they are afraid of what other men or their
peers will say and don't have the power of analysis to address the
issue."

One of my male friends told me that simply hearing about my research on
this article made him more aware of the daily-nature basis of male
violence against women.

Men can and will be receptive to this discussion if we make it a
priority to include them. There's no excuse for domestic and sexual
violence to continue in a tough economy or in prosperous times.
Elimination of the problem is possible, but until men become an equal
part of the solution, we will not win the battle against it.

Heidi Schnakenberg is a screenwriter, journalist, author and activist.
 
 

Are you an NCSU student that is interested in being a Sexual &
Relationship Violence Peer Educator?  Then come join The
Movement.Application can be found online at
http://www.ncsu.edu/womens_center/. Please contact Juliette for more
information.. 

 
Juliette Grimmett, MPH
Rape Prevention Education Coordinator
NC State University
Women's Center
3120 Talley Student Center
Campus BOX 7306
Raleigh, NC 27695-7306
Office: (919) 513-3232
24 Hour Sexual Violence Hotline: (919)618-RAPE (7273)
Fax: (919) 515-1066
email: 

 ( http://www.ncsu.edu/womens_center ;)