Discussion List for campus-based and allied personnel working to end gender-based violence on campus.

[Connie J Kirkland <>]

I have heard this "Through a Rapist's Eyes (No Joke)" for 
years.........really!~  I do think it is something someone simply made up to 
seem like the real thing... I've never known it to be research-based and 
really can't imagine that it is!

Connie Kirkland
George Mason University
Sexual Assault Services
Fairfax, VA 22030

----- Original Message -----
From: 

Date: Thursday, November 1, 2007 12:06 pm
Subject: SAPC Digest, Vol 853, Issue 1

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> Today's Topics:
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>   1. Re: Through a Rapist's Eyes (No Joke) (Sheila Broderick)
> 
> 
> -------------------------------------------------------------------
> ---
> 
> Message: 1
> Date: Wed, 31 Oct 2007 20:10:53 -0400
> From: Sheila Broderick 
> <>
> Subject: Re: Through a Rapist's Eyes (No Joke)
> To: Wanda Viento 
> <>,
>    Sexual Assault Programs
>       Coordinators List 
> <>
> Message-ID: 
> <>
> Content-Type: text/plain;     charset="US-ASCII"
> 
> Es and we all know that rapists notoriously tell the truth, so I'm 
> sure I'll
> be doing exactly what they recommend.
> 
> 
> On 10/31/07 3:52 PM, "Wanda Viento" 
> <>
>  
> wrote:
> > I agree that it can be misleading, especially the reference to 
> having> interviewed "date" rapists and yet most of the "advice" is 
> around> stranger assaults.
> > 
> > W 
> > 
> > 
> > ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
> > Wanda L.E. Viento, M.S.W., Ph.D.
> > Associate Director, Student Development
> > Coordinator, Women's Center
> > Boise State University
> > 1910 University Drive
> > Boise, Idaho 83725-1335
> > 208-426-4259
> > http://womenscenter.boisestate.edu
> > 
> > "If Rosa Parks had taken a poll before she sat down in the bus in
> > Montgomery, she'd still be standing."  ~~Mary Frances Berry, 
> U.S. Civil
> > Rights Commissioner
> > 
> > 
> > 
> > 
> > 
> >>>> "Docis, Diane" 
> >>>> <>
> >>>>  10/31/2007 12:32 PM >>>
> > I've used this email and others like it in presentations where we
> > discuss the rampant "prevention" messages that girls and women 
> get.  I
> > refer to it as stranger danger for grown-ups and we discuss how the
> > messages are often contradictory, ineffective, victim-blaming, etc.
> > and
> > serve to limit women's freedom/mobility and increase women's 
> fear but
> > not their safety.
> > 
> > 
> > Diane Docis
> > Coordinator
> > Sexual Assault Education and Prevention Program
> > University of Toledo
> > Student Medical Center MS-513
> > Toledo, OH 43606
> > phone 419-530-3431
> > fax     419-530-3499
> >   
> > 
> > -----Original Message-----
> > From: 
> > 
> > [mailto:]
> >  On Behalf Of S. Daniel
> > Carter
> > Sent: Wednesday, October 31, 2007 12:36 PM
> > To: 
> > 
> > Subject: FW: Through a Rapist's Eyes (No Joke)
> > 
> > The forwarded e-mail below titled "Through a Rapist's Eyes (No 
> Joke)"> was received from a student who'd received it from another 
> student and
> > I
> > was wondering if anyone on the list was familiar with it or the
> > original
> > source?
> > This appears to be cobbled together from a number of internet 
> postings> of questionable credibility and has been circulating for 
> over a year
> > but
> > that is about all I've been able to track down. Any insights 
> would be
> > appreciated.
> > 
> > ********************************
> > S. Daniel Carter
> > Senior Vice President
> > Security On Campus, Inc.
> > http://www.securityoncampus.org/
> > e-mail:
> > 
> > ------ Forwarded Message
> > 
> >   Through a Rapist's Eyes (No Joke)
> > 
> >   <>
> >     A group o f rapists and date rapists in prison were 
> interviewed on
> > what they look for in a potential victim and here are some 
> interesting> facts:
> >    
> >     1) The first thing men look for in a potential victim is
> > hairstyle.
> > They are most likely to go after a wo man with a ponytail, bun, 
> braid> or
> > other hairstyle that can easily be grabbed . They are also 
> likely to
> > go
> > after a woman with long hair. Women with short hair are not common
> > targets. 
> >    
> >     2) The second thing men look for is clothing. They will look for
> > women who's clothing is easy to remove quickly. Many of them carry
> > scissors around specifically to cut clothing.
> >    
> >     3) They also look for women on their cell phone, searching 
> through> their purse, or < B doing other activities while walking 
> because they
> > are off-guard and can be easily overpowered.
> >    
> >     4) Men are most likely to attack & rape in the early morning,
> > between 5:00a.m. and 8:30a. m.
> >    
> >     5) The number one place women are abducted from/attacked is
> > grocery
> > store parking lots. Number two: is office parking lots/garages.
> > Number three: is public restrooms.
> >    
> >     6) The thing about these men is tha t they are looking to 
> grab a
> > woman and quickly move her to another location where they don't have
> > to
> > worry about getting caught.
> >    
> >     7) Only 2% said they carried weapons because rape carries a
> > 3-5 year sentence but rape with a weapon is 15-20 years.
> >    
> >     8) If you put up any kind of a fight at all, they get 
> discouraged> because it only takes a minute or two for them to 
> realize that going
> > after you isn't worth it because it will be time-consuming.
> >    
> >     9) These men said they would not pick on women who have 
> umbrellas> ,
> > or other similar objects that can be used from a distance, in their
> > hands. Keys are not a deterrent because you have to get really close
> > to
> > t he attacker to use them as a weapon. So, the idea is to convince
> > these
> > guys you're not worth it.
> >    
> >     10) Several defense mechanisms he taught us are: If someone is
> > following b ehind you on a street or in a garage or with you in an
> > elevator or stairwell, look them in the face and ask them a 
> question ,
> > like what time is it, or make general small talk: 'I can't 
> believe it
> > is
> > so cold out here,' 'we're in for a bad winter.' Now you've seen 
> their> face and could identify them in a line-up; you lose appeal 
> as a
> > target.
> >    
> >     11) If someone is coming toward you , hold out your hands in 
> front> of you and yell STOP or STAY BACK ! Most of the rapists 
> this man
> > talked
> > to said they'd leave a woman alone if she yelled or showed that she
> > would not be afraid to fight back . Again, they are looking for an
> > EASY
> > target. 
> >    
> >     12) If you carry pepper spray (this instructor was a huge 
> advocate> of it and carries it with him wherever he goe s) , yell 
> I HAVE PEPPER
> > SPRAY and holding it out will be a deterrent.
> >    
> >     13) If someone grabs you , you can't beat them with st 
> rength but
> > you can by outsmarting them If you are grabbed around the waist from
> > behind, pinch the attacker either under the arm (between the 
> elbow and
> > armpit) OR in the upper inner thigh VERY VERY HARD . One woman 
> in a
> > class this guy taught told him she used the underarm pinch on a guy
> > who
> > was trying to date rape her and was so upset she broke through the
> > skin
> > and tore out muscle strands - the guy needed stitches. Try pinching
> > yourself in those places as hard as you can stand it - it hurts.
> >    
> >     14) After the initial hit, always GO for the GROIN . I know 
> from a
> > particularly unfortunate experience that if you slap a guy's 
> parts it
> > is
> > extremely painful . You might think that you'll anger the guy 
> and make
> > him want to hurt you more, but the thing these rapists told our
> > instructor is that they want a woman who wil l not cause a lot of
> > trouble. Start causing trouble and he's out of there.
> >    
> >     15) W hen the guy puts his hands up to you , grab his first two
> > fingers and bend them back as far as possible with as much pressure
> > pushing down on them as possible . The instructor did it to me 
> without> using much pressure, and I ended up on my knees and both 
> knuckles> cracked audibly. 
> >    
> >     16) Of course the things we always hear still apply. Always be
> > aware
> > of your surroundings , take someone with you if you can and if 
> you see
> > any odd behavior, don't dismiss it, go with your instincts!!!
> >    
> >    
> >     You may feel a little silly at the time, but you'd feel much 
> worse> if the guy really was trouble.
> >    
> >     1 . Tip from Tae Kwon Do : The elbow is the strongest point on
> > your
> > body. If you are close enough to use it, do!
> >    
> >     2. Learned this from a tourist guide in New Orleans . If a 
> robber> as
> > ks for your wallet and/or purse, DO NOT HAND IT TO HIM . Toss it 
> away> from you...chances ar e that he is more interested in your 
> wallet> and/or
> > purse than you, and he will go for the wallet/purse. RUN LIKE 
> MAD IN
> > THE
> > OTHER DIRECTION!
> >    
> >     3. If you are ever thrown into the trunk of a car, kick out the
> > back
> > tail lights and stick your arm out the hole and start waving
> >     like crazy. The driver won't see you, but everybody else will.
> > This
> > has saved lives.
> >    
> >     4. Women have a tendency to get into their cars after shopping,
> > eating, working, etc., and just sit (doing their checkbook, or 
> making> a
> > list, etc.) DON'T DO THIS! The predator will be watching you, 
> and this
> > is the perfect opportunity for him to get in on the passenger side,
> > put
> > a gun to your head, and tell you where to go. AS SOON AS YOU GET 
> INTO> YOUR CAR, LOCK THE DOORS AND LEAVE.
> >    
> >         a. If someone is in the car with a gun to your head DO NOT
> > DRIVE
> > OFF, repeat: DO NOT DRIVE OFF! Instead gun the engine and speed into
> > anything, wrecking the car. Your Air Bag will save you. If the 
> person> is
> > in the back seat they will get the worst of it. As soon as the car
> > crashes bail out and run. It is better than having them find 
> your body
> > in a remote location.
> >    
> >     b . A few notes about getting into your car in a parking lot or
> > parking garage: 
> >    
> >     A.) Be aware: look around you, look into your car, at the
> > passenger
> > side floor, and in the back seat.
> >    
> >     B.) If you are parked next to a big van, enter your car from the
> > passenger door. Most serial killers attack their victims by pulling
> >     them into their vans while the women are attempting to get into
> > their cars. 
> >    
> >     C.) Look at the car parked on the driver's side of your vehicle,
> > and
> > the passenger side. If a male is sitting alone in the seat nearest
> > your
> > car, you may want to wa lk back into the mall, or work, and get a
> > guard/policeman to wa lk you back out.
> >    
> >     IT IS ALWAYS BETTER TO BE SAFE THAN SORRY. (And better paranoid
> > than
> > dead.)
> >    
> >     6. ALWAYS take the elevator instead of the stairs.
> > (Stairwells are horrible places to be alone and the perfect crime
> > spot.
> > This is
> >     especially true at NIGHT!)
> >    
> >     7. If the predator has a gun and you are not under his control,
> > ALWAYS RUN! The predator will only hit you (a running target) 4 
> in 100
> > times. And even then, it most likely WILL NOT be a vital organ.
> > RUN, preferably in a zigzag pattern!
> >    
> >     8. As women, we are always trying to be sympathetic: STOP! 
> It may
> > get you raped or killed. Ted Bundy, the serial killer, was a
> > good-looking, well-educated man, who ALWAYS played on the sympathies
> > of
> > unsuspecting women. He walked with a cane, or a limp, and often 
> asked> 'for help' into his vehicle or with his vehic le, w hich is 
> when he
> > abduct ed his next victim.
> >    
> >     9. Another Safety Point: Someone just told me that her friend
> > heard
> > a crying baby on her porch the night before last, and she called the
> > police because it was late and she thought it was weird. The police
> > told
> > her 'Whatever you do, DO NOT open the door.
> >     The lady then said that it sounded like the baby had crawled 
> near> a
> > window, and she was worried that it would crawl to the street 
> and get
> > run over. The policeman said, 'We already have a unit on the way,
> > whatever you do, DO NOT open the door.' He told her that they 
> think a
> > serial killer has a baby's cry recorded and uses it to coax 
> women out
> > of
> > their homes thinking that someone dropped off a baby. He said they
> > have
> > not verified it , but have had several calls by women saying 
> that they
> > hear baby's cries outside their doors when they're home alone at
> > night.
> >    
> >    
> >     Please pass this on and DO NOT open the door for a crying baby
> > ----This should be taken seriously because the Crying Baby 
> theory was
> > mentioned on America's Most Wanted this past Saturday when they
> > profiled
> > the serial killer in Louisiana.
> >    
> >    
> >  
> >  
> > 
> >  </> 
> > 
> >  
> >  
> >  
> > 
> > 
> > ------ End of Forwarded Message
> > 
> > _______________________________________________
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> > 
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> 
> -- 
> Sheila Broderick, LCSW
> Duke University Women's Center
> 126 Few Fed
> Box 90920
> 919.684.3897
> 919.681.6885 (fax)
> http://wc.studentaffairs.duke.edu
> 
> 
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> End of SAPC Digest, Vol 853, Issue 1
> ************************************
>