Discussion List for campus-based and allied personnel working to end gender-based violence on campus.

[Sheila Broderick <>]

Es and we all know that rapists notoriously tell the truth, so I'm sure I'll
be doing exactly what they recommend.


On 10/31/07 3:52 PM, "Wanda Viento" 
<>
 wrote:

> I agree that it can be misleading, especially the reference to having
> interviewed "date" rapists and yet most of the "advice" is around
> stranger assaults.
> 
> W 
> 
> 
> ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
> Wanda L.E. Viento, M.S.W., Ph.D.
> Associate Director, Student Development
> Coordinator, Women's Center
> Boise State University
> 1910 University Drive
> Boise, Idaho 83725-1335
> 208-426-4259
> http://womenscenter.boisestate.edu
> 
> "If Rosa Parks had taken a poll before she sat down in the bus in
> Montgomery, she'd still be standing."  ~~Mary Frances Berry, U.S. Civil
> Rights Commissioner
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
>>>> "Docis, Diane" 
>>>> <>
>>>>  10/31/2007 12:32 PM >>>
> I've used this email and others like it in presentations where we
> discuss the rampant "prevention" messages that girls and women get.  I
> refer to it as stranger danger for grown-ups and we discuss how the
> messages are often contradictory, ineffective, victim-blaming, etc.
> and
> serve to limit women's freedom/mobility and increase women's fear but
> not their safety.
> 
> 
> Diane Docis
> Coordinator
> Sexual Assault Education and Prevention Program
> University of Toledo
> Student Medical Center MS-513
> Toledo, OH 43606
> phone 419-530-3431
> fax     419-530-3499
>   
> 
> -----Original Message-----
> From: 
> 
> [mailto:]
>  On Behalf Of S. Daniel
> Carter
> Sent: Wednesday, October 31, 2007 12:36 PM
> To: 
> 
> Subject: FW: Through a Rapist's Eyes (No Joke)
> 
> The forwarded e-mail below titled "Through a Rapist's Eyes (No Joke)"
> was received from a student who'd received it from another student and
> I
> was wondering if anyone on the list was familiar with it or the
> original
> source?
> This appears to be cobbled together from a number of internet postings
> of questionable credibility and has been circulating for over a year
> but
> that is about all I've been able to track down. Any insights would be
> appreciated.
> 
> ********************************
> S. Daniel Carter
> Senior Vice President
> Security On Campus, Inc.
> http://www.securityoncampus.org/
> e-mail:
> 
> ------ Forwarded Message
> 
>   Through a Rapist's Eyes (No Joke)
> 
>   <>
>     A group o f rapists and date rapists in prison were interviewed on
> what they look for in a potential victim and here are some interesting
> facts:
>    
>     1) The first thing men look for in a potential victim is
> hairstyle.
> They are most likely to go after a wo man with a ponytail, bun, braid
> or
> other hairstyle that can easily be grabbed . They are also likely to
> go
> after a woman with long hair. Women with short hair are not common
> targets. 
>    
>     2) The second thing men look for is clothing. They will look for
> women who's clothing is easy to remove quickly. Many of them carry
> scissors around specifically to cut clothing.
>    
>     3) They also look for women on their cell phone, searching through
> their purse, or < B doing other activities while walking because they
> are off-guard and can be easily overpowered.
>    
>     4) Men are most likely to attack & rape in the early morning,
> between 5:00a.m. and 8:30a. m.
>    
>     5) The number one place women are abducted from/attacked is
> grocery
> store parking lots. Number two: is office parking lots/garages.
> Number three: is public restrooms.
>    
>     6) The thing about these men is tha t they are looking to grab a
> woman and quickly move her to another location where they don't have
> to
> worry about getting caught.
>    
>     7) Only 2% said they carried weapons because rape carries a
> 3-5 year sentence but rape with a weapon is 15-20 years.
>    
>     8) If you put up any kind of a fight at all, they get discouraged
> because it only takes a minute or two for them to realize that going
> after you isn't worth it because it will be time-consuming.
>    
>     9) These men said they would not pick on women who have umbrellas
> ,
> or other similar objects that can be used from a distance, in their
> hands. Keys are not a deterrent because you have to get really close
> to
> t he attacker to use them as a weapon. So, the idea is to convince
> these
> guys you're not worth it.
>    
>     10) Several defense mechanisms he taught us are: If someone is
> following b ehind you on a street or in a garage or with you in an
> elevator or stairwell, look them in the face and ask them a question ,
> like what time is it, or make general small talk: 'I can't believe it
> is
> so cold out here,' 'we're in for a bad winter.' Now you've seen their
> face and could identify them in a line-up; you lose appeal as a
> target.
>    
>     11) If someone is coming toward you , hold out your hands in front
> of you and yell STOP or STAY BACK ! Most of the rapists this man
> talked
> to said they'd leave a woman alone if she yelled or showed that she
> would not be afraid to fight back . Again, they are looking for an
> EASY
> target. 
>    
>     12) If you carry pepper spray (this instructor was a huge advocate
> of it and carries it with him wherever he goe s) , yell I HAVE PEPPER
> SPRAY and holding it out will be a deterrent.
>    
>     13) If someone grabs you , you can't beat them with st rength but
> you can by outsmarting them If you are grabbed around the waist from
> behind, pinch the attacker either under the arm (between the elbow and
> armpit) OR in the upper inner thigh VERY VERY HARD . One woman in a
> class this guy taught told him she used the underarm pinch on a guy
> who
> was trying to date rape her and was so upset she broke through the
> skin
> and tore out muscle strands - the guy needed stitches. Try pinching
> yourself in those places as hard as you can stand it - it hurts.
>    
>     14) After the initial hit, always GO for the GROIN . I know from a
> particularly unfortunate experience that if you slap a guy's parts it
> is
> extremely painful . You might think that you'll anger the guy and make
> him want to hurt you more, but the thing these rapists told our
> instructor is that they want a woman who wil l not cause a lot of
> trouble. Start causing trouble and he's out of there.
>    
>     15) W hen the guy puts his hands up to you , grab his first two
> fingers and bend them back as far as possible with as much pressure
> pushing down on them as possible . The instructor did it to me without
> using much pressure, and I ended up on my knees and both knuckles
> cracked audibly. 
>    
>     16) Of course the things we always hear still apply. Always be
> aware
> of your surroundings , take someone with you if you can and if you see
> any odd behavior, don't dismiss it, go with your instincts!!!
>    
>    
>     You may feel a little silly at the time, but you'd feel much worse
> if the guy really was trouble.
>    
>     1 . Tip from Tae Kwon Do : The elbow is the strongest point on
> your
> body. If you are close enough to use it, do!
>    
>     2. Learned this from a tourist guide in New Orleans . If a robber
> as
> ks for your wallet and/or purse, DO NOT HAND IT TO HIM . Toss it away
> from you...chances ar e that he is more interested in your wallet
> and/or
> purse than you, and he will go for the wallet/purse. RUN LIKE MAD IN
> THE
> OTHER DIRECTION!
>    
>     3. If you are ever thrown into the trunk of a car, kick out the
> back
> tail lights and stick your arm out the hole and start waving
>     like crazy. The driver won't see you, but everybody else will.
> This
> has saved lives.
>    
>     4. Women have a tendency to get into their cars after shopping,
> eating, working, etc., and just sit (doing their checkbook, or making
> a
> list, etc.) DON'T DO THIS! The predator will be watching you, and this
> is the perfect opportunity for him to get in on the passenger side,
> put
> a gun to your head, and tell you where to go. AS SOON AS YOU GET INTO
> YOUR CAR, LOCK THE DOORS AND LEAVE.
>    
>         a. If someone is in the car with a gun to your head DO NOT
> DRIVE
> OFF, repeat: DO NOT DRIVE OFF! Instead gun the engine and speed into
> anything, wrecking the car. Your Air Bag will save you. If the person
> is
> in the back seat they will get the worst of it. As soon as the car
> crashes bail out and run. It is better than having them find your body
> in a remote location.
>    
>     b . A few notes about getting into your car in a parking lot or
> parking garage: 
>    
>     A.) Be aware: look around you, look into your car, at the
> passenger
> side floor, and in the back seat.
>    
>     B.) If you are parked next to a big van, enter your car from the
> passenger door. Most serial killers attack their victims by pulling
>     them into their vans while the women are attempting to get into
> their cars. 
>    
>     C.) Look at the car parked on the driver's side of your vehicle,
> and
> the passenger side. If a male is sitting alone in the seat nearest
> your
> car, you may want to wa lk back into the mall, or work, and get a
> guard/policeman to wa lk you back out.
>    
>     IT IS ALWAYS BETTER TO BE SAFE THAN SORRY. (And better paranoid
> than
> dead.)
>    
>     6. ALWAYS take the elevator instead of the stairs.
> (Stairwells are horrible places to be alone and the perfect crime
> spot.
> This is
>     especially true at NIGHT!)
>    
>     7. If the predator has a gun and you are not under his control,
> ALWAYS RUN! The predator will only hit you (a running target) 4 in 100
> times. And even then, it most likely WILL NOT be a vital organ.
> RUN, preferably in a zigzag pattern!
>    
>     8. As women, we are always trying to be sympathetic: STOP! It may
> get you raped or killed. Ted Bundy, the serial killer, was a
> good-looking, well-educated man, who ALWAYS played on the sympathies
> of
> unsuspecting women. He walked with a cane, or a limp, and often asked
> 'for help' into his vehicle or with his vehic le, w hich is when he
> abduct ed his next victim.
>    
>     9. Another Safety Point: Someone just told me that her friend
> heard
> a crying baby on her porch the night before last, and she called the
> police because it was late and she thought it was weird. The police
> told
> her 'Whatever you do, DO NOT open the door.
>     The lady then said that it sounded like the baby had crawled near
> a
> window, and she was worried that it would crawl to the street and get
> run over. The policeman said, 'We already have a unit on the way,
> whatever you do, DO NOT open the door.' He told her that they think a
> serial killer has a baby's cry recorded and uses it to coax women out
> of
> their homes thinking that someone dropped off a baby. He said they
> have
> not verified it , but have had several calls by women saying that they
> hear baby's cries outside their doors when they're home alone at
> night.
>    
>    
>     Please pass this on and DO NOT open the door for a crying baby
> ----This should be taken seriously because the Crying Baby theory was
> mentioned on America's Most Wanted this past Saturday when they
> profiled
> the serial killer in Louisiana.
>    
>    
>  
>  
> 
>  </> 
> 
>  
>  
>  
> 
> 
> ------ End of Forwarded Message
> 
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-- 
Sheila Broderick, LCSW
Duke University Women's Center
126 Few Fed
Box 90920
919.684.3897
919.681.6885 (fax)
http://wc.studentaffairs.duke.edu