Discussion List for campus-based and allied personnel working to end gender-based violence on campus.

["Mike Domitrz" <>]

To echo Molly's comments, on Monday at the International Conference on
Sexual Assault on Campuses, 9 of the 12 survivors from "Voices of Courage"
spoke on this exact issue.  A person in the audience inquired if it was
really proper to let survivors speak at TBTN because this person was
concerned about the harm it could do.  Every single survivor from the book
told her that they never regretted sharing their story at events such as
TBTN.  The survivors did acknowledge how difficulty is was for a few of
them, but stressed how it important it was and how fulfilling the experience
was.  As for people concerned about leaving the event on a "depressing"
note, the survivors provided a suggestion of designating the final speaker
to be a survivor who is 10 to 20 years removed from the attack (an alumnus
ideally) who could share where life has taken them through the process of
being a survivor.

Sincerely,
Mike Domitrz
****************************************************
Author, Speaker, and Executive Director of The Date Safe Project.  
Creator of "Can I Kiss You?" program on consent & sexual assault.  
www.canikissyou.com
www.datesafeproject.org
www.voicesofcourage.com
www.mayikissyou.com
** www.doyouask.org ** -- Discover the powerful and thought-provoking "Do
You Ask?" Poster Series.




-----Original Message-----
From: 

[mailto:]
 On Behalf Of Molly Dragiewicz
Sent: Tuesday, October 31, 2006 12:47 PM
To: 

Subject: RE: TBtN speakouts

I have seen speakouts work and run them myself a few different ways but I
wanted to echo this below...I know several students who never sought
counseling or in some cases never told anyone before taking part
spontaneously or as part of a planned speaker list in a speakout. I don't
know of any students I have worked with who regretted speaking out. For most
it kick started the healing process and they went either to on campus
counseling or the community rape crisis for the first time.

I don't believe that survivors are delicate flowers who need to be protected
from speaking about their experiences. I would hate for a TBTN to eliminate
speakouts because they are "depressing". They should be infuriating and
inspiring as well as depressing because it is depressing that so many women
are still being raped on campus. Not hearing about it from survivors is not
going to fix that.

I would also hate to see survivors getting the message that talking about
their experiences is harmful to them. How many more ways can we find to
silence women? From what I have seen the students (and others) who name it
rape are more likely to put responsibility on the perpetrator and not blame
themselves and get on the road to healing more quickly by seeking out
counseling and other forms of support. Research confirms these personal
observations. Is there any research at all that indicates that speaking out
about rape is harmful to survivors in this context? 

In addition, according to our assessments, the speakouts are the single most
powerful educational piece of this event for audience members.
Students and others in the audience realize they know survivors and that in
many cases they also know perpetrators. They cannot identify either by
looking at them and may not know about the rape even if the person is
someone they consider to be fairly close with them. This is a life changing
opportunity for non-survivors as well, and one of a handful of educational
approaches that we know from students to be effective.

Molly Dragiewicz
Assistant Professor
Faculty of Criminology, Justice, and Policy Studies University of Ontario
Institute of Technology 

 -----Original Message-----
From: 

[mailto:]
 On Behalf Of Garrett, Robin
Sent: Monday, October 30, 2006 6:30 PM
To: 

Subject: TBtN speakouts

...I do know that we have had students
who sought assistance only after they had spoken at the open forum
spontaneously. The way our speakout is organized, it is very intimate and
supportive. I'll keep thinking about this. It is not a simple question to
answer.


Feminism is the radical notion that women are people.
Robin Garrett,
Women's Center Director 


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