Discussion List for campus-based and allied personnel working to end gender-based violence on campus.

["Ben Atherton-Zeman - Feminist, Actor and Husband" <>]

Hi, SAPC friends!  Please forgive the cross-postings.  

I belong to a profeminist group, the Boston chapter of the National 
Organization for Men Against Sexism (www.nomas.org, www.nomasboston.org).  We 
received an email from this guy, Sean Beulman, to our public email list for 
NOMAS-Boston, asking all our members to sign this petition against his local 
rape crisis center in Newfoundland/Labrador.  

I emailed him back basically saying I'd never sign any petition against a 
rape crisis center and that he's barking up the wrong tree.  I said that the 
best place for male victims to go for help is the battered women's movement 
and the rape crisis movement, and that I've worked at many places that serve 
male victims.  I told him that this would be a much better place to go for 
help than the so-called "men's rights" movement, since their goal is not to 
help male survivors but to attack our movements.  (I didn't even deal with 
the fact that many male "victims" are often perpetrators, since my experience 
is that most batterers and rapists do, indeed, think they are the "real" 
victims.)

Certainly we could become better at serving all survivors, including men.  
But I know many local shelters and rape crisis centers are dealing with the 
"what do we do with male victims" question, some with very creative and 
positive answers.  Myself, I will support the right of any rape crisis center 
or DV program to serve only women, accept only women volunteers, indeed to be 
a women's-only space.  I think the movement would lose something if those 
places ceased to exist.  But I also know many gay and transgender men have 
expressed frustration and even disgust with our movement for acting out 
homophobia and transphobia at them when they sought services.  

So am I right to suggest that the best place for a male victim to go is our 
movement?  

My email exchange with Mr. Beulman is below.  I suggest that, rather than 
sign his petition, you go to the Newfoundland/Labrador Sexual Assault Crisis 
and Prevention Centre: http://www.sexualassault.nf.ca/, and email their ;
coordinator, Tracy Duffy 
.
  After so many critical emails from the people signing Mr. Beulman's 
petition, she could use some kind emails from us thanking her for her 
important work.  

thanks!  - Ben

Ben Atherton-Zeman, Acton MA USA
Actor, Comedian, Feminist and Husband
Presenting a One-Man Play: "Voices of Men"
Call 978-263-3254 for booking information.

Quote of the month, June 2005 -
"We celebrate fathers who love and respect their partners and work honestly 
to maintain equality in their relationships...We celebrate fathers who 
challenge prejudice that demeans not just their sons and daughters but 
everyone else's, too...We celebrate fathers who advance the idea that peace 
and harmony in the home are preconditions for peace and harmony in the world."
- from the Men's Resource Center's Signature Ad in the Springfield Republican 
- Sign the ad at www.mensresourcecenter.org  From 

  Thu Jun 30 12:02:38 2005
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oops - somehow, the email exchange I had with the guy didn't post.  Here it
is!

have a great Thursday!  - Ben

Ben Atherton Zeman
Actor, Comedian, Feminist and Husband
Presenting a One-Man Play, "Voices of Men"

- Ben Atherton-Zeman
----- Original Message -----
From: Sean Beulman
To: 

Sent: Thursday, June 30, 2005 6:17 AM
Subject: [public_NOMAS-Boston] POSSIBLE TRIGGER - Male Survivor Petition


Hello:

We are a group of adult male victim/Survivors of sexual assault,
myself having been assaulted while a child ward of my province. Would
you please consider displaying a link to our petition here in
Newfoundland, Canada supporting a male victim/Survivors right to
access the resources of the Provincial Sexual Assault Centre, the only
sexual assault centre here.

Once the petition is showing support it will then be sent onto the
Government department which funds the Sexual Assault Centre. If
nothing else, it is our hope that awareness of the need for gender
based supports to male victims will be made.

Thank you

http://www.geocities.com/male_survivors_united/petition.html


Dear Mr. Beulman:

I am so sorry to hear that you were sexually assaulted.  As you know, that
happens all too often, both to women and men, in the US and Canada.

Myself, I have worked in several rape crisis centers and domestic violence
programs.  When I worked there, we gave all the resources to male victims
that we did to female victims, with the exception of shelter and support
groups (support groups because not enough male victims had come forward, and
instead of shelter at some places we'd find a safe home in our safe home
network).  So men were encouraged to use our 24 hour, free and confidential
hotline, to use our court advocacy program and other resources.

Thank you for the link to the Newfoundland and Labrador center - it looks
like they do good work.  I will not sign a petition against them, and I will
urge all the members of NOMAS-Boston to support their work, and not to sign
any petition against them.  I'm guessing that they have a similar policy to
the centers where I've worked.  It looks like they ask male volunteers to
not work on the crisis hotline - I can understand and approve of why that
might be so, and I respect and will defend their right to do this.

You have, intentionally or not, aligned yourself with the so-called "men's
rights" movement, given the links at the bottom of your web page.  This
movement has the political goal to take much-needed funding and legislation
away from the movements to end sexual assault and domestic violence in
Canada, the US, and the world.  So now rape crisis centers and domestic
violence programs, working on a shoestring budget and hardly having enough
staff to help the tide of victims that come to them, have to deal with
groups like this that are trying to undercut the small amount of support
they finally are getting from the government.  You urge us to email the
Newfoundland/Labrador agency's executive director, mentioning her name on
your website - I have already emailed her, expressing my support for her
important work.

My own experience having served male victims in the agencies where I worked,
is for you to seek help at another agency, or to work with the leaders of
the Newfoundland/Labrador agency (if it's not too late - at this point I
wouldn't blame them if they didn't want to hear from you, given your public
organizing against them).  These groups, and this movement, are the best
hope for male survivors of sexual assault - organizing petitions and
aligning yourself with a very woman-hating movement is not.

- Ben