Discussion List for campus-based and allied personnel working to end gender-based violence on campus.

["Hensler-McGinnis, Nancy" <>]

Hello--

I am a Victim Advocate at the University of Maryland and have met recently
with a young woman who grew up in an abusive home, has been emotionally
abused in romantic relationships, and also recognized herself being
emotionally abusive to her most recent ex-partner.  She indicated that she
fears and wants to change this abuser pattern in herself.  Because of
statements like that on your website (i.e., you can access these resources
unless you're an abuser), she is afraid she would not be accepted or
understood by a DV group or organization; she thus has remained isolated.  

A complicating factor is a lack of economic resources (individual therapy is
more difficult to access b/c she can't afford it--she is not a student at
the university and thus can't technically access the counseling services;
she is, however, an informal member of some activist organizations on
campus).

My question: 
Are there resources (on-line or in the DC area) of which you're aware that
would be appropriate for her? 

Since she has been abused in the past, are there DV resources that would
welcome her?  (I'm thinking of my own work at a DV shelter and these women
clearly had negative interpersonal patterns with others: their children,
other residents, etc.  It seems polarizing to say that someone is either
abuser or abused, given the complex psychological realities that result from
abusive environments.  I really heard this young woman's critique that the
resources and PR materials out there for DV do not seem to appreciate this
complexity.)

Any thoughts/resources you can provide will be most appreciated-- 

Nancy Hensler-McGinnis 
Victim Advocate
U.Maryland, College Park
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From: "Rus Ervin Funk" 
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It would be important to know more details about what kinds of "emotional
abusiveness" she is perpetrating.  It is not uncommon at all for abused kids
or children (especially girls) who grew up in homes where they witnessed
domestic violence to over-define thier own abusiveness.

I would also be interesting in dissecting her emotional abuse -- when does
it happen, what forms does it take, what is the extent, intent and impact of
her abuse on her partner(s), etc.  How much of her behavior is in response
to real or perceived threats.

These kinds of questions may, and likely would have real impact on teh
availability of services and resources for her.

That being said, I do believe that she might be very able to access support
services in the DC area -- Support Our Survivors is a non-residential
counseling program offered by My Sister's Place in DC; the Mont Co Abused
Person's Program may also have some supports for her (if she is in Mont
Co.).  I would also suggest contacting the MD Network Against Domestic
Violence and see what thoughts they may have.

Rus Ervin Funk, MSW
Consultant/Activist
Louisville, KY   USA
(502)494-9044





>
>
> Today's Topics:
>
>    1. DV resources for abused/abusers? (Hensler-McGinnis, Nancy)
>
>
> ----------------------------------------------------------------------
>
> Date: Fri, 11 Apr 2003 17:14:20 -0400
> From: "Hensler-McGinnis, Nancy" 
> <>
> To: 
> "''"
>  
> <>
> Subject: DV resources for abused/abusers?
> Message-ID:
<>
> Content-Type: text/plain
> MIME-Version: 1.0
> Precedence: list
> Message: 1
>
> Hello--
>
> I am a Victim Advocate at the University of Maryland and have met recently
> with a young woman who grew up in an abusive home, has been emotionally
> abused in romantic relationships, and also recognized herself being
> emotionally abusive to her most recent ex-partner.  She indicated that she
> fears and wants to change this abuser pattern in herself.  Because of
> statements like that on your website (i.e., you can access these resources
> unless you're an abuser), she is afraid she would not be accepted or
> understood by a DV group or organization; she thus has remained isolated.
>
> A complicating factor is a lack of economic resources (individual therapy
is
> more difficult to access b/c she can't afford it--she is not a student at
> the university and thus can't technically access the counseling services;
> she is, however, an informal member of some activist organizations on
> campus).
>
> My question:
> Are there resources (on-line or in the DC area) of which you're aware that
> would be appropriate for her?
>
> Since she has been abused in the past, are there DV resources that would
> welcome her?  (I'm thinking of my own work at a DV shelter and these women
> clearly had negative interpersonal patterns with others: their children,
> other residents, etc.  It seems polarizing to say that someone is either
> abuser or abused, given the complex psychological realities that result
from
> abusive environments.  I really heard this young woman's critique that the
> resources and PR materials out there for DV do not seem to appreciate this
> complexity.)
>
> Any thoughts/resources you can provide will be most appreciated--
>
> Nancy Hensler-McGinnis
> Victim Advocate
> U.Maryland, College Park
> ------------------------------
>
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> 
> https://list.mail.Virginia.EDU/mailman/listinfo/sapc
>
>
> End of SAPC Digest, Vol 3, Issue 1
> **********************************