Discussion List for campus-based and allied personnel working to end gender-based violence on campus.

["martin dufresne" <>]

In this article, Ben writes: "(...)  Jay Smooth and other anti-racist 
activists have already urged us to look at someone's racist behavior, 
instead of focusing on "is someone a racist" or not. The conversation should 
be about the behavior, not the person.(...)"

I find this convenient for abusers. Then we can agree that their behavior is 
wrong but that somehow it doesn't impugn them and we can't pass judgment on 
them? I disagree. People are the sum of their behavior; no more, no less. To 
avoid discussing whether he's *really* such a nice guy or not is letting him 
off the hook and falling back on merely criticizing actions, without being 
allowed to extend our challenge to their author and his motivations.

Martin

----- Original Message ----- 
From: Ben Atherton-Zeman
To: 

 ; 

Cc:  ;  ; 
 ; 
Sent: Wednesday, July 18, 2012 11:59 AM
Subject: [RAINNet] Daniel Tosh and Joe Paterno - "Nice Guys"





Hi, friends in the movement!

I think Daniel Tosh contributed to rape culture with his "jokes" last week, 
threatening rape of an audience member.  I think Joe Paterno did so by 
remaining silent about Sandusky's sexual abuse.

But these two have been defended as "nice guys," "pillars of the community" 
etc.  Sexual and domestic violence prevention advocates are familiar with 
this language - it's used in countless news stories about perpetrators of 
violence.  It seems the "nice guy" protection can also be used to protect 
those who benefit from and contribute to rape culture.

What I've learned from feminist women is that each man, "nice guy" or not, 
benefits from rape culture.  Most of us contribute to rape culture every 
day, through sexist jokes, objectification of women, etc.

I think folks need to know that being a "nice guy" doesn't mean you can't 
contribute to rape culture, just as it doesn't mean you can't rape or abuse. 
So I wrote the attached column for Ms. Magazine Online.  Feel free to share 
with others.

http://msmagazine.com/blog/blog/2012/07/17/nice-guys-contribute-to-rape-culture/

Thanks, and keep up the good work!

Ben Atherton-Zeman: Feminist, actor, husband
Performing a one-man play "Voices of Men," working to end sexual and 
domestic violence
Video clips available at http://www.voicesofmen.org




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