Discussion List for campus-based and allied personnel working to end gender-based violence on campus.

A question came up on another list about the movie "Where's the Line" - and, because I feel strongly that the messaging on campus that comes from most "training" films is ineffective in terms of meaningful prevention, I sent along the following post.  I thought I'd share it here given that decisions about films and training are common on this list.  I've been teaching these ideas for fifteen years but I get the sense that very different views are disseminated on campuses where far too much sexual violence is going on - and I'm hoping these thoughts might provoke ideas for meaningful change.

Wendy Murphy

New England Law|Boston

I've not seen the film "the line", though I looked at the website and I have great respect for the people involved -

a few thoughts - 

My students talk about the problem of "sex positive" ideology as being counter to feminist theory -  for many reasons that i won't go into here but it's worth thinking about where the "sex positive" movement came from and what effect it is having on females trying to have healthy sexual relationships.

I saw the pitch for this film at the website in terms of it being about a less than clear rape narrative - and I worry that this is the wrong message - 

I tend to teach that negotiating around sex is fine - and that people negotiate about all sorts of things in life.

Negotiating in a context where one side has the upper hand raises concerns about how we define "negotiation" and whether we should care that most situations are not equal because of cultural and other imbalances that come from not only sexual inequality but also size and other factors that elevate one person's negotiating power - 

My point is that talking about line-drawing without teaching the cultural context may be a waste of time - 

It's a little bit like asking how much force is too much - when the answer won't change the more important question "was there consent"?  force isn't irrelevant - it's just that it's distracting. 

So if I could create a film, it would not be about the line - it would be about what consent means in a world where personal autonomy matters - and why the harm-doer bears the risk as well as the burden of restraint - and why this is OK because a lost erection is not a loss of liberty - but a little bit of rape IS!

I would include concepts like what consent looks like when it is "knowing, intelligent and voluntary" and I would compare this form of intentional involvement in a sex act to nonsexual circumstances where especially male students can relate - such as Miranda warnings (you cannot give up your right to remain silent unless you do so knowingly, intelligently and voluntarily" and you can't sell your home or give away your bank account either - unless the decision is knowing, etc., etc.)

Flipping the gender roles works well, too  - making guys understand why it would be harmful to them if they had to maintain an erection immediately upon ejaculation because the rules provide that the timing of the act is determined by HER body, not his.  Guys understand autonomy very well when they think about the pain of being forced to continue - without even a five second break - after ejaculation.

I also do an experiment with my students where i have them stand near each other - then touch but not in a sexual manner - and i have them do things that are not too intrusive - and then i tell the woman student to lick the guy student's nose - and invariably the guy says NO - and we talk about what it is about someone's saliva and germs and tongue on your face! - and why it's a big deal - and why the decision to allow such contact is important etc - 

and why when the parts involved are even MORE intimate - the decision is even more important. 

Anyway - I'm saying all this only to toss out there the fact that it's time for a direct and meaningful movie to be made - one that doesn't scare or "warn" women to be careful - or to feel blameworthy about how they function in society.  I had mixed feelings about the "slutwalk" because of how it got its message out - but the message is an important one -  and i hope someone involved in this business will try to create the kind of film that transcends the "rape is vague" narrative - because it really isn't.   And i hope such a film will speak more effectively to males about how they come to feel the way they do about what feels good - to them and their partners - because of the profoundly harmful and pervasive "porn culture" that these days eroticizes violence more than ever before - 

Wendy Murphy

New England Law|Boston