Discussion List for campus-based and allied personnel working to end gender-based violence on campus.

["Ben Atherton-Zeman" <>]

My Canadian colleague Monika Penner posted these on another list and I think 
they're brilliant!  Her email is 
.
  Thanks, Monika!  

Sexual Assault Prevention Tips

When you tell me that I shouldn't drink
too much alcohol because that increases my risk of being sexually
assaulted, I hear that I was responsible for being raped because I
was drunk.

When you tell me to walk with a friend
or lock my doors, I hear that I should fear strangers jumping out
from the bushes or breaking into my house and not my friend and lover
who raped me.

When you tell me to take self-defense
classes, or to yell and fight back if I am being attacked, I hear
that my natural defense reaction to freeze was wrong.

When you tell me to get to know people
before I invite them into my home or go out with them, I hear that I
should have known that the person I befriended for several years 
was a rapist.

When you tell me to walk confidently, I
hear that my body posture made my offender want to sexually assault
me.

When you tell me to carry pepper spray,
I hear that I am responsible for being sexually assaulted because I
didn't.

When you tell me that I should report
the assault to the police, I hear that if I don't because I am
afraid, or don't want to talk about it, I shouldn't feel this way,
and that my need to exert some sort of control after having my power
taken away, is wrong.

When you offer me "tips" for my own
safety, I hear that it was my behaviour in question, and not my
offender's.

And when you tell me that there are
things I could do differently, in order to prevent being sexually
assaulted, I hear that I am responsible for what someone else does.


Until the violence stops, Ben.  

Ben Atherton-Zeman, Maynard, MA USA
Actor, Comedian, Feminist and Husband
Presenting a One-Man Play: "Voices of Men," http://www.voicesofmen.org ;(video 
clips available on the site)
Booking information: 978-897-3619

April is Sexual Assault Awareness Month - wear a teal ribbon, support your 
local rape crisis center and buy Teal Ribbon Awareness Jewelry from my 
wonderful, talented wife Lucinda!  http://www.timeinabauble.etsy.com ;
 
Quote of the Month - April 2009: "Sexual violence, domestic violence all 
begin in benign steps or acts - especially wrapped in 'status quo' or 'what's 
the big deal - can't you take a joke.'"
- Danica Anderson, MA, CCCJS - http://www.kolocollaboration.org/