Discussion List for campus-based and allied personnel working to end gender-based violence on campus.

[Kim Zimmerman <>]

His "book" seems ok, I'm not a guy so I am not sure how is approach would be 
taken...it sounds good - guy to guy talk...
 
However I strongly disagree with one statement he makes in Consent "Rule 4" 
he states " If you're with someone and you make a decision together to get 
wasted and have sex, that is not assault because consent happened when you 
were sober. But if it is the other way around there cannot be consent." The 
problem is we all have a right to change our minds....if we "agreed" to have 
sex hours before having it, who is to say we still want it when it actually 
happens? And according to his statement, by the time we have sex we are 
unable to consent...therefore he should not be "preaching" this statement....
 
(however on the realistic side of things this WOULD be much better than what 
is happening now, if a guy was to divulge his true intentions, "lets get 
drunk and have sex" then she has the knowledge of what he is expecting and 
can choose to not engage in the activity at all if she doesnt want the end 
result....however these are "nice guys" and the girls beleive the nice guy 
will stop when they ask...not realizing some of these "nice guys" do not stop 
when asked...)
 
But I think he needs to change how he says this...you cant drink and drive, 
and you shouldn't drink and have sex if you want to guarentee yourself not 
going to jail for rape...
Kim Zimmerman Advocacy Services Coordinator Sexual Assault Program of 
Beltrami, Cass & Hubbard Counties PO Box 1472     1819 Bemidji Ave NW Ste 3
Bemidji MN 56619 218-444-9524 
24 hour crisis line 800-708-2727
FAX: 218-444-9527

> Date: Thu, 15 May 2008 13:11:03 -0600> From: 
> >
>  To: 
> ;
>  
> >
>  Subject: Re: Man Talk> > Claire,> Good afternoon. I have not heard of him 
> before your post, but I> "googled" his name and found a booklet by him. 
> This link to the booklet> might give you a better idea of his messages: > 
> http://www.michaelkaufman.com/ManTalk_Sample.pdf ;> Peace,> > > Adriane L. 
> Bang, LMSW> Boise State Women's Center> 1910 University Drive> Boise, ID 
> 83725-1335> (208) 426-2406> > > >>> "Kaplan, Claire (cnk2r)" 
> <>
>  5/15/2008> 6:34 AM >>>> Has anyone brought Michael Kaufman to their campus 
> for a presentation> of Man Talk? I know nothing about him.> Thanks,> 
> Claire> > > > Finally! A resource about dating violence and healthy 
> relationships> that actually engages men. Sure, it talks about the 
> problems, but most> important, it takes a positive approach to helping guys 
> make the right> choices to create good relationships. Serious yet 
> entertaining,> intelligent yet accessible, challenging yet fun, this 
> booklet will make> a real difference in the lives of students.> > Using Man 
> Talk * Print copies for freshman orientation & have a> positive impact on 
> campus life for years to come. * Email to all> students; post on your 
> website. * Use in special programs for> student leaders, fraternity 
> pledges, athletes, residence life staff, a> campus White Ribbon Campaign, 
> Valentines Day.> > Your printer-ready & Internet-ready PDFs are fully 
> customized at no> extra cost * On the cover: the name, logo or mascot of 
> your> college. * Your school colors on the cover & inside. *> Messages from 
> student leaders, athletes or the school president, a dean,> coach, or 
> well-known alumnae. * School & local information on where> students can go 
> for help.> > The author Michael Kaufman is the co-founder of the White 
> Ribbon> Campaign, the largest effort in the world of men working to ensure 
> that> our future has no violence against women. He speaks and leads 
> workshops> not only on campuses across North America, but has worked in 
> forty-five> countries for governments, businesses, universities, NGOs, and 
> the> United Nations.> > > > To read Man Talk & for ordering information 
> visit:> > 
> www.michaelkaufman.com/mantalk<http://www.michaelkaufman.com/mantalk>> > > 
> Man Talk: What Every College Guy Oughta/Gotta Know About Good> 
> Relationships> > _______________________________________________> SAPC 
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