Discussion List for campus-based and allied personnel working to end gender-based violence on campus.

["Ben Atherton-Zeman - Feminist, Actor and Husband" <>]

K-Mart Misses Opportunity to Stand Against Violence

By Ben Atherton-Zeman, December 20, 2006

 

"Problem Solved," reads the T-shirt.  The cartoon above features stick figure 
drawings of a male and a female.  In the first frame, the female is talking 
excitedly to the male - in the second, he has pushed her through the wall of 
the frame.  She is falling to her doom - he is smiling.  "Problem solved."

 

Worse yet, the T-shirt is a children's shirt.  According to the Kennebec 
Journal, shopper Kristin Aiello told the Augusta, Maine K-Mart store manager 
that the message on the shirt was offensive 
(http://kennebecjournal.mainetoday.com/news/local/3429020.html - the article ;
has a photo of the shirt).  The manager promptly removed the T-shirts last 
Tuesday.  

 

Surely, this should have ended the matter.  Every twelve seconds in the 
United States, a man abuses the woman he has promised to love.  Every two 
minutes, a man rapes a woman - usually a woman he knows.  Men's violence 
against women is supported by societal attitudes that reduce women's voices 
to objects of irritation.  Silencing women is very much a part of committing 
violence against them.  Violence against women is not funny - least of all to 
those millions of women who experience it. 

 

In an abrupt reversal, however, K-Mart's corporate offices changed the store 
manager's decision.  The Journal article quotes Kimberly Freely, manager of 
corporate relations for Sears Holdings Corporation.  Freely said the Augusta 
K-mart was putting the shirts back on the shelves - Sears Holdings 
Corporation believes "these attitude Ts are meant to be light-hearted in 
nature."

 

Light-hearted?  No matter what the intent of the shirt, the effect is to 
minimize and condone men's violence.  K-Mart's reversal of the store 
manager's decision deliberately undermines their history of philanthropy and 
commitment to agencies dedicated to preventing violence against women.  Their 
decision undermines all who work to stop such violence.  

 

Many men (myself included) find it difficult to seriously listen to women.  
We tend to become defensive.  After all, we are socialized to be the "top 
dog," the one in charge of the relationship.  If we listen to women, our 
authority might be undermined, whether in our personal relationship or in the 
world.  If we listen to women, we might have to acknowledge the sexism and 
violence that women suffer - that our gender perpetrates.  If we listen to 
women, we may have to be accountable for our own actions, for our own sexism, 
for our own privilege - for our own violence.  

 

It's so much easier to just make women the butt of the joke.  

 

I use humor to educate about violence against women.  Humor can be used to 
reduce an audience's defensiveness when it comes to learning and accepting 
difficult material.  

 

Humor can also be used as a club.  It can be used to avoid responsibility - 
"Can't you take a joke?"  Humor can be used to silence targets of oppression: 
women, people of color, Jews, GLBTQ folks, etc.  And it can allow men, 
whites, Gentiles, heterosexuals and others to continue to ignore our 
privilege, and ignore the violence that our group perpetrates.  

 

The "problem" in this T-shirt is defined as the woman speaking - the 
"solution" is to commit violence against her until she "shuts up."  

 

What about the real problems of violence?  Of sexism?  Of woman-hating?  Of 
homophobia and racism?  If only a simple, tasteless joke would cause these 
real problems to "just shut up."  

 

I have one idea towards "solving": vote with our holiday spending dollars.  
Don't shop at K-Mart these last few days of the holiday shopping season.

 

Instead, support businesses that work to end men's violence against women.  
Buy their products, whether it be New Moon Publishing 
http://www.newmooncatalog.com/, Donnelly/Colt ;
http://www.donnellycolt.com/catalog/core.shtml or the Syracuse Cultural ;
Workers http://www.syrculturalworkers.com/.  There are many progressive ;
companies that support these issues.

 

My calls to Sears Holdings Company have gone unreturned.  My call to my local 
K-Mart was much more illuminating - they had previously stocked the offensive 
T-shirt, but were not doing so at present.  I asked if this was because the 
shirt was so offensive - "Oh, God, no!"  the worker replied.  "We just ran 
out.  We'll be getting more."  

 

I'm not spending a penny at any K-Mart or any Sears until they remove their 
shirts and apologize for their mistake.  

 

Problem solved.  

 

Ben Atherton-Zeman performs a one-man play, "Voices of Men," which uses humor 
to educate about men's violence against women.  He can be reached at 
,
 or http://www.voicesofmen.org.   ;

 

If you'd like to reach K-Mart, go to their website 
http://www.K-Mart.com/custserv/contact_us.jsp and fill out their Customer ;
Comment form.  


Until the violence stops, Ben.  

Ben Atherton-Zeman, Acton MA USA
Actor, Comedian, Feminist and Husband
Presenting a One-Man Play: "Voices of Men," www.voicesofmen.org (video clips 
take a second to load)
Booking information: 978-263-3254

December, 2006 quote: 
"...Calling me a 'stronger feminist than most women' is inaccurate and very 
unfair to them.  Apples and oranges, basically.White adult heterosexual men 
like myself are allowed to safely sidestep both the experience of oppression 
and the grueling work of daily resistance.  Yet, when a man chooses to 
publish a secondhand account of gender injustice and violence, he gets 
automatic applause and is held up as an icon of men's morality... When 
women.attempt to speak of their experience and struggle firsthand, they are 
demonized or at least, systematically censored.  Isn't that horribly unfair?"
- Martin Dufresne, Montreal Men Against Sexism