Discussion List for campus-based and allied personnel working to end gender-based violence on campus.

["Janet Epstein" <>]

Thank you to Molly Dragiewicz for so eloquently putting into words many
of our thoughts regarding TBTN speak outs.  Our TBTN speak out follows a
large rally and march.  We are clear that the speak out is closed to the
media.  Many of those who attend the rally and march choose to leave
before the speakout.  Among those who stay, many have given us feedback 
that the speak out is a very powerful, positive experience for them,
whether they choose to speak or listen to the experiences of their
peers.  We find that many of those who attend had not planned to speak,
but are so moved by the event that they decide to speak out.  Our events
are coordinated by our R.A.P.E. Center student volunteers, who are very
intentional in creating a supportive, respectful space and a message of
caring and community.  They always end the speak out by asking members
of student groups to talk about "everyday activism," to inform the
students present about opportunities to work with others who are
committed to addressing issues related to sexual violence.  The evening
ends with two a capella groups, each singing a relevant, inspiring
song.
 
Janet Epstein
Jill Sneider
Syracuse University R.A.P.E. Center


>>> 
>>>  11/1/2006 12:09:11 PM >>>

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Today's Topics:

   1. RE: TBtN speakouts (Molly Dragiewicz)
   2. RE: TBtN speakouts (Basra, Inderjit)
   3. RE: TBtN speakouts (Mike Domitrz)
   4. Re: TBtN: sharing stories with administrators? (Leslie Campis)
   5. RE: TBTN speakouts (Molly Dragiewicz)


----------------------------------------------------------------------

Message: 1
Date: Tue, 31 Oct 2006 12:46:42 -0500
From: "Molly Dragiewicz" 
<>
Subject: RE: TBtN speakouts
To: 
<>
Message-ID:
    
<>
Content-Type: text/plain;    charset="us-ascii"

I have seen speakouts work and run them myself a few different ways
but
I wanted to echo this below...I know several students who never sought
counseling or in some cases never told anyone before taking part
spontaneously or as part of a planned speaker list in a speakout. I
don't know of any students I have worked with who regretted speaking
out. For most it kick started the healing process and they went either
to on campus counseling or the community rape crisis for the first
time.

I don't believe that survivors are delicate flowers who need to be
protected from speaking about their experiences. I would hate for a
TBTN
to eliminate speakouts because they are "depressing". They should be
infuriating and inspiring as well as depressing because it is
depressing
that so many women are still being raped on campus. Not hearing about
it
from survivors is not going to fix that.

I would also hate to see survivors getting the message that talking
about their experiences is harmful to them. How many more ways can we
find to silence women? From what I have seen the students (and others)
who name it rape are more likely to put responsibility on the
perpetrator and not blame themselves and get on the road to healing
more
quickly by seeking out counseling and other forms of support. Research
confirms these personal observations. Is there any research at all
that
indicates that speaking out about rape is harmful to survivors in this
context? 

In addition, according to our assessments, the speakouts are the
single
most powerful educational piece of this event for audience members.
Students and others in the audience realize they know survivors and
that
in many cases they also know perpetrators. They cannot identify either
by looking at them and may not know about the rape even if the person
is
someone they consider to be fairly close with them. This is a life
changing opportunity for non-survivors as well, and one of a handful
of
educational approaches that we know from students to be effective.

Molly Dragiewicz
Assistant Professor
Faculty of Criminology, Justice, and Policy Studies
University of Ontario Institute of Technology

-----Original Message-----
From: 

[mailto:]
 On Behalf Of Garrett,
Robin
Sent: Monday, October 30, 2006 6:30 PM
To: 

Subject: TBtN speakouts

...I do know that we have had students
who sought assistance only after they had spoken at the open forum
spontaneously. The way our speakout is organized, it is very intimate
and supportive. I'll keep thinking about this. It is not a simple
question to answer.


Feminism is the radical notion that women are people.
Robin Garrett,
Women's Center Director 




------------------------------

Message: 2
Date: Tue, 31 Oct 2006 16:23:44 -0600
From: "Basra, Inderjit" 
<>
Subject: RE: TBtN speakouts
To: "Molly Dragiewicz" 
<>,
   
<>
Message-ID:
   
<>
Content-Type: text/plain;    charset="us-ascii"

I completely agree with Molly.  Thank you for your words.

Vicky Basra
Director, Project Safe
Vanderbilt University


-----Original Message-----
From: 

[mailto:]
 On Behalf Of Molly
Dragiewicz
Sent: Tuesday, October 31, 2006 11:47 AM
To: 

Subject: RE: TBtN speakouts

I have seen speakouts work and run them myself a few different ways
but
I wanted to echo this below...I know several students who never sought
counseling or in some cases never told anyone before taking part
spontaneously or as part of a planned speaker list in a speakout. I
don't know of any students I have worked with who regretted speaking
out. For most it kick started the healing process and they went either
to on campus counseling or the community rape crisis for the first
time.

I don't believe that survivors are delicate flowers who need to be
protected from speaking about their experiences. I would hate for a
TBTN
to eliminate speakouts because they are "depressing". They should be
infuriating and inspiring as well as depressing because it is
depressing
that so many women are still being raped on campus. Not hearing about
it
from survivors is not going to fix that.

I would also hate to see survivors getting the message that talking
about their experiences is harmful to them. How many more ways can we
find to silence women? From what I have seen the students (and others)
who name it rape are more likely to put responsibility on the
perpetrator and not blame themselves and get on the road to healing
more
quickly by seeking out counseling and other forms of support. Research
confirms these personal observations. Is there any research at all
that
indicates that speaking out about rape is harmful to survivors in this
context? 

In addition, according to our assessments, the speakouts are the
single
most powerful educational piece of this event for audience members.
Students and others in the audience realize they know survivors and
that
in many cases they also know perpetrators. They cannot identify either
by looking at them and may not know about the rape even if the person
is
someone they consider to be fairly close with them. This is a life
changing opportunity for non-survivors as well, and one of a handful
of
educational approaches that we know from students to be effective.

Molly Dragiewicz
Assistant Professor
Faculty of Criminology, Justice, and Policy Studies
University of Ontario Institute of Technology

-----Original Message-----
From: 

[mailto:]
 On Behalf Of Garrett,
Robin
Sent: Monday, October 30, 2006 6:30 PM
To: 

Subject: TBtN speakouts

...I do know that we have had students
who sought assistance only after they had spoken at the open forum
spontaneously. The way our speakout is organized, it is very intimate
and supportive. I'll keep thinking about this. It is not a simple
question to answer.


Feminism is the radical notion that women are people.
Robin Garrett,
Women's Center Director 


_______________________________________________
SAPC mailing list

https://list.mail.Virginia.EDU/mailman/listinfo/sapc


------------------------------

Message: 3
Date: Wed, 1 Nov 2006 00:29:29 -0500
From: "Mike Domitrz" 
<>
Subject: RE: TBtN speakouts
To: "'Molly Dragiewicz'" 
<>,
    
<>
Message-ID: 
<>
Content-Type: text/plain;    charset="us-ascii"

To echo Molly's comments, on Monday at the International Conference on
Sexual Assault on Campuses, 9 of the 12 survivors from "Voices of
Courage"
spoke on this exact issue.  A person in the audience inquired if it
was
really proper to let survivors speak at TBTN because this person was
concerned about the harm it could do.  Every single survivor from the
book
told her that they never regretted sharing their story at events such
as
TBTN.  The survivors did acknowledge how difficulty is was for a few
of
them, but stressed how it important it was and how fulfilling the
experience
was.  As for people concerned about leaving the event on a
"depressing"
note, the survivors provided a suggestion of designating the final
speaker
to be a survivor who is 10 to 20 years removed from the attack (an
alumnus
ideally) who could share where life has taken them through the process
of
being a survivor.

Sincerely,
Mike Domitrz
****************************************************
Author, Speaker, and Executive Director of The Date Safe Project.  
Creator of "Can I Kiss You?" program on consent & sexual assault.  
www.canikissyou.com
www.datesafeproject.org
www.voicesofcourage.com
www.mayikissyou.com
** www.doyouask.org ** -- Discover the powerful and thought-provoking
"Do
You Ask?" Poster Series.




-----Original Message-----
From: 

[mailto:]
 On Behalf Of Molly
Dragiewicz
Sent: Tuesday, October 31, 2006 12:47 PM
To: 

Subject: RE: TBtN speakouts

I have seen speakouts work and run them myself a few different ways but
I
wanted to echo this below...I know several students who never sought
counseling or in some cases never told anyone before taking part
spontaneously or as part of a planned speaker list in a speakout. I
don't
know of any students I have worked with who regretted speaking out. For
most
it kick started the healing process and they went either to on campus
counseling or the community rape crisis for the first time.

I don't believe that survivors are delicate flowers who need to be
protected
from speaking about their experiences. I would hate for a TBTN to
eliminate
speakouts because they are "depressing". They should be infuriating
and
inspiring as well as depressing because it is depressing that so many
women
are still being raped on campus. Not hearing about it from survivors is
not
going to fix that.

I would also hate to see survivors getting the message that talking
about
their experiences is harmful to them. How many more ways can we find
to
silence women? From what I have seen the students (and others) who name
it
rape are more likely to put responsibility on the perpetrator and not
blame
themselves and get on the road to healing more quickly by seeking out
counseling and other forms of support. Research confirms these
personal
observations. Is there any research at all that indicates that speaking
out
about rape is harmful to survivors in this context? 

In addition, according to our assessments, the speakouts are the single
most
powerful educational piece of this event for audience members.
Students and others in the audience realize they know survivors and
that in
many cases they also know perpetrators. They cannot identify either by
looking at them and may not know about the rape even if the person is
someone they consider to be fairly close with them. This is a life
changing
opportunity for non-survivors as well, and one of a handful of
educational
approaches that we know from students to be effective.

Molly Dragiewicz
Assistant Professor
Faculty of Criminology, Justice, and Policy Studies University of
Ontario
Institute of Technology 

 -----Original
Message-----
From: 

[mailto:]
 On Behalf Of Garrett,
Robin
Sent: Monday, October 30, 2006 6:30 PM
To: 

Subject: TBtN speakouts

...I do know that we have had students
who sought assistance only after they had spoken at the open forum
spontaneously. The way our speakout is organized, it is very intimate
and
supportive. I'll keep thinking about this. It is not a simple question
to
answer.


Feminism is the radical notion that women are people.
Robin Garrett,
Women's Center Director 


_______________________________________________
SAPC mailing list

https://list.mail.Virginia.EDU/mailman/listinfo/sapc






------------------------------

Message: 4
Date: Wed, 1 Nov 2006 09:35:43 -0500
From: "Leslie Campis" 
<>
Subject: Re: TBtN: sharing stories with administrators?
To: 
<>
Message-ID: 
<>
Content-Type: text/plain; format=flowed; charset="iso-8859-1";
    reply-type=original

Dear colleagues,

I have a related issue to inquire about. To anyone's knowledge, is
there an 
expectation that information shared by students at TBTN be communicated
to 
campus administrators prior to the event?  Particularly if it has
negative 
commentary on University response to sexual assault cases?

Any input would be most appreciated!

Best regards,
Leslie Campis, Ph.D.
Director, Sexual Assault Response and Education Services
Emory University Student Health and Counseling services
----- Original Message ----- 
From: "Basra, Inderjit" 
<>
To: "Molly Dragiewicz" 
<>;
 
<>
Sent: Tuesday, October 31, 2006 5:23 PM
Subject: RE: TBtN speakouts


>I completely agree with Molly.  Thank you for your words.
>
> Vicky Basra
> Director, Project Safe
> Vanderbilt University
>
>
> -----Original Message-----
> From: 
> 
> [mailto:]
>  On Behalf Of Molly
> Dragiewicz
> Sent: Tuesday, October 31, 2006 11:47 AM
> To: 
> 
> Subject: RE: TBtN speakouts
>
> I have seen speakouts work and run them myself a few different ways
but
> I wanted to echo this below...I know several students who never
sought
> counseling or in some cases never told anyone before taking part
> spontaneously or as part of a planned speaker list in a speakout. I
> don't know of any students I have worked with who regretted speaking
> out. For most it kick started the healing process and they went
either
> to on campus counseling or the community rape crisis for the first
time.
>
> I don't believe that survivors are delicate flowers who need to be
> protected from speaking about their experiences. I would hate for a
TBTN
> to eliminate speakouts because they are "depressing". They should be
> infuriating and inspiring as well as depressing because it is
depressing
> that so many women are still being raped on campus. Not hearing about
it
> from survivors is not going to fix that.
>
> I would also hate to see survivors getting the message that talking
> about their experiences is harmful to them. How many more ways can
we
> find to silence women? From what I have seen the students (and
others)
> who name it rape are more likely to put responsibility on the
> perpetrator and not blame themselves and get on the road to healing
more
> quickly by seeking out counseling and other forms of support.
Research
> confirms these personal observations. Is there any research at all
that
> indicates that speaking out about rape is harmful to survivors in
this
> context?
>
> In addition, according to our assessments, the speakouts are the
single
> most powerful educational piece of this event for audience members.
> Students and others in the audience realize they know survivors and
that
> in many cases they also know perpetrators. They cannot identify
either
> by looking at them and may not know about the rape even if the person
is
> someone they consider to be fairly close with them. This is a life
> changing opportunity for non-survivors as well, and one of a handful
of
> educational approaches that we know from students to be effective.
>
> Molly Dragiewicz
> Assistant Professor
> Faculty of Criminology, Justice, and Policy Studies
> University of Ontario Institute of Technology
> 
> -----Original Message-----
> From: 
> 
> [mailto:]
>  On Behalf Of Garrett,
Robin
> Sent: Monday, October 30, 2006 6:30 PM
> To: 
> 
> Subject: TBtN speakouts
>
> ...I do know that we have had students
> who sought assistance only after they had spoken at the open forum
> spontaneously. The way our speakout is organized, it is very
intimate
> and supportive. I'll keep thinking about this. It is not a simple
> question to answer.
>
>
> Feminism is the radical notion that women are people.
> Robin Garrett,
> Women's Center Director
>
>
> _______________________________________________
> SAPC mailing list
> 
> https://list.mail.Virginia.EDU/mailman/listinfo/sapc
> _______________________________________________
> SAPC mailing list
> 
> https://list.mail.Virginia.EDU/mailman/listinfo/sapc
> 




------------------------------

Message: 5
Date: Wed, 1 Nov 2006 11:03:04 -0500
From: "Molly Dragiewicz" 
<>
Subject: RE: TBTN speakouts
To: 
<>
Message-ID:
    
<>
Content-Type: text/plain;    charset="us-ascii"

Let's also not forget that this is a free speech issue.
Campuses are so careful to protect speech from the right but seem to
have no qualms about shutting up women who want to talk about rape or
the university's response to it. Use free speech language in your
negotiations with the university. It touches a legal nerve that they
may
have forgotten about as they pondered avoiding explanations of why no
one does official reports when women are obviously being raped on
campus. Protecting women from their own speech is not a reason to stop
this portion of the event.



------------------------------

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End of SAPC Digest, Vol 618, Issue 1
************************************