Discussion List for campus-based and allied personnel working to end gender-based violence on campus.

["Ben Atherton-Zeman - Feminist, Actor and Husband" <>]

Hi, Gretchen!  Yes, I'm alarmed and irritated at the current articles that 
seem to be getting attention.  It seems to me that this sort of thing ebbs 
and flows in a familiar pattern: some book or article will be written on us 
poor, underserved males who's needs are being ignored, and will gain media 
attention.  

The article or book can be written by either an overt anti-feminist or 
someone who is genuinely concerned about men, but the result is just the 
same.  No matter how they proclaim to care about the needs of girls and 
women, it is always spun as "these feminists think women are the only 
victims, and they ignore these poor men's needs."  It is a short step from 
there to, "The feminist movement has deliberately distorted facts to convince 
a gullible public that there is an epidemic of men's violence against women - 
the truth is, men are victims of domestic violence and sexual assault just as 
often as women are."

These conclusions are dangerous to survivors of domestic violence, sexual 
assault, stalking and other forms of men's violence against women.  They make 
it harder for survivors to come forth, and harder for educators within our 
movement to inform a public that already believes many other myths about 
men's violence.  And they give fertile ground to the so-called "men's rights" 
movement that makes it's living by undercutting the gains that women on this 
list have worked for years to obtain.

Guys on this list: this is place where we can be helpful.  Men that claim 
they're discriminated against by feminists claim to speak for us - let's let 
them know they DON'T speak for us!  When you see an article like this, 
respond with a letter to the editor of your own - I recently wrote a letter 
to Newsweek when they had a cover story on this topic - lo and behold, they 
published it!  I'd suggest that you make your letter pithy - one sentence or 
two for national publications, longer for local ones.  Run it by some 
feminist women, first, but be quick - if it's a national publication, they 
often only take the first letter or two that is submitted.  

What do others think?  Are you as alarmed as Gretchen and me?  What else can 
we do about it?  - Ben

Ben Atherton-Zeman, Acton MA USA
Actor, Comedian, Feminist and Husband
Presenting a One-Man Play: "Voices of Men," www.voicesofmen.org (video clips 
take a second to load)
Booking information: 978-263-3254

April 2006 quote: "...it's him, a friend for comfort - or maybe not?  
A smile, a touch, relaxing, but what is he thinking of?
My heart stops pounding, my muscles relax.
And comfort is finally found.
A touch, a smile, and then persistence, my comfort has flown away...
It's finally over and now a blackness has come over me...
What is left of my soul?"
- "Rape," a poem by Kristin Cooper, who committed suicide after having been 
raped by a friend.  
April is National Sexual Assault Awareness Month.  Please support your local 
rape crisis center: www.rainn.org to find out more. 
For more on Kristin's story, go to www.kristinsstory.com 

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From: Alan Berkowitz 
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Dear Colleagues:

Gretchen's point is well-taken.  We must find ways to answer these
misguided arguments based on a confused sense of men's victimization.
 At the same time we must understand men's emotional realities and why
these arguments have such appeal at this point in time.  One book that I
would recommend is Jackson Katz's recently released "The Macho Paradox:
Why Some Men Hurt Women and How All Men Can Help" - published by
Sourcebooks, see www.themachoparadox.com for information.

Jackson does a great job of deconstructing media, popular culture, and
news events to provide us with an understanding that can be used to
address men's "backlash."


Alan Berkowitz

--
Alan D. Berkowitz,  PhD
P.O. Box 701
Trumansburg, N.Y. 14886-0701
Tel:   607 387-3789
Fax:  607 387-9615
www.alanberkowitz.com