Discussion List for campus-based and allied personnel working to end gender-based violence on campus.

[Juliette Muellner <>]

I still have not been able to actually see this video.  Can someone 
pass it along to me?

Thank you,

Juliette
--
Juliette Muellner

"Feminism is the radical notion that women are people"


Quoting Mike Domitrz 
<>:

> While humorous for many students, this film walks right into stereotypes
> that lead people into NOT wanting to ask for consent.  There were several
> moments in the movie that reflected unhealthy attitudes/beliefs.
>
> I would have LOVED to see this movie done where the two people actually
> talked about their personal wants/likes/dislikes with each other in a very
> passionate and romantic manner (not through lawyers).  In that talk, there
> could have been both serious points and very "fun" and "playful" moments.
> The reality is that asking for consent can be extremely intimate,
> passionate, and sexy.  We need more examples of students SEEING positive and
> passionate scenes of consent.
>
> This film is also evidence of various unhealthy practices/beliefs on
> campuses -- such as the "trophy" statements (him getting to show her panties
> to his buddies and her proving her "castration" of him by getting to wear
> his clothes around campus).  For teaching, the film could be used as an
> opener to discuss the "reality" verses the "stereotypes/assumptions"
> regarding consent.  Then take students into the conversation of "How can you
> have this conversation without the lawyers?  How can you talk openly with
> each other in a way that would enhance the closeness and understanding of
> each other?  How would you handle a partner not wanting to do something?" .
> . . and many other questions.
>
> Mike Domitrz
> **Executive Director of The Date Safe Project
> **Creator of "Can I Kiss You?" healthy dating and sexual assault awareness
> program.
> .....Websites:  http://www.canikissyou.com,
> http://www.thedatesafeproject.org, http://www.voicesofcourage.com
> .....Join the blog at http://datesafe.blogspot.com
> .....Toll-Free: (800) 329-9390
>
> ****Sign-up for the thought-provoking and informative newsletter, "The Date
> Safe Advocate", by signing up at http://www.canikissyou.com.
>
>
> -----Original Message-----
> From: 
>
> [mailto:]
>  On Behalf Of 
>
> Sent: Thursday, January 19, 2006 11:35 AM
> To: 
>
> Subject: consent film
>
>
> Dear colleagues;
>
> I was able to see the short film on consent -- clever but ultimately
> unhelpful as a mockery of the value of autonomy because it promotes the
> notion that obtaining consent is unromantic --
>
> I will use it as a teaching tool because it's a fun way of teasing out
> students' ideas of what consent is and why it matters -- I do two days
> on consent with my law students - and they invariably lapse into a
> discussion about the criminal law as as "sexual regulation" rather than
> a black and white tool designed to promote autonomy.
>
> It's also entirely inappropriate as a film that sends the wrong message
> about who bears the burden.  Irrespective of gender, the aggressor
> always bears the burden of obtaining permission.  Anything short of
> black and white rules translates to "a little bit of harm is ok".
>
> I wish there could be a film that illustrates the simplicity of the
> idea that "my right to swing my fist ends before it hits you in the
> nose" as applied to sexual parts.
>
> Wendy Murphy
> New England School of Law
>
>
>
>
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