Discussion List for campus-based and allied personnel working to end gender-based violence on campus.

["Keith E. Edwards" <>]

As a relatively new member to this listserv I've greatly appreciated the 
dialogue and discussion on a number of issues.  I wanted to take this 
oppotunity offer some thoughts connected both with the request for 
posters as well as some of the comments about approaches to working with 
men.

When speaking on college campuses our "She Fears You" presentation uses 
provocative posters to capture the attention of men.  Properly 
channeled, that attention serves as the turning point whereby men, 
provoked by their emotion, realize the positive avenues for their 
energy.  In this way men are motivated and encouraged to be active in 
the efforts to end rape on campus and offers specific strategies and 
practices men and women can engage in order to change the culture around 
rape on campus.  The posters for this program were originally designed 
by Troy Headrick, and some of you may be familiar with them having 
worked with Troy.   If you are interested in checking out the posters 
they can be found on our website :
http://www.menendingrape.org

Perhaps the men that Lisak identifies as serial rapists, are men who 
honestly and genuinely believe that they are having sex as it has been 
taught (mis-taught) to them by our culture (peers, parents, movies, tv, 
magazine ads, song lyrics, etc.).  This doesn't excuse their behavior in 
any way.  But if their behavior is caused by their socialization, rather 
than pathology, it seems that deconstructing that socialization and 
re-educating remains a tool that can create real change.  This is why a 
cultural approach is so essential in my view.  That's why I believe 
developing student groups, such as the Men Against Rape Society model 
that I work with, can be very helpful in creating long-term cultural 
change.

As Lisak and others describe, the approach we use through our She Fears 
You presentations and developing successful student organizations is 
what some would call a type of a bystander approach, but it is more 
pro-active than the word "bystander" conveys to me. To me a bystander 
speaks up or takes action as a sexual assault takes place.  I think we 
need to encourage men to address their own comments and behaviors as 
well as their peers to counteract and reduce the messages that foster a 
rape culture in everyday life.

Our approach is to articulate for men a reason to actively work to 
address the rape culture and those perpetuating it, clearly to benefit 
women, but also to benefit men.  If rape ends, I as a man benefit 
tremendously. I would never compare that to what women have to gain, but 
we should not ignore our benefits as well.  Because some men rape, I am 
assumed to be a potential rapist until I prove otherwise...and I don't 
know how to do that. That infuriates me.  But I refuse to be angry at 
the women who are doing what is necessary to keep themselves safe. I am 
angry at the men who do rape, because it is because of them that I am 
feared, that I am labeled potential rapist by women who don't know me 
and probably by many who do.  In this way men can begin to see that 
their liberation is some bound with women's liberation. That by ending 
rape, sexism, patriarchy....men will also gain our freedom as well. The 
freedom to be real men connected with our full humanity.  In my view, 
this type of motivation to create social justice for the benefit of self 
as well as other is a more sustainable way to develop allies that are 
not dependent on the praise and approval of the other.  Yet, another way 
us men who do this kind of work can fall into relying on women to 
sustain us and take care of us.

Keith,
www.menendingrape.org

--
Keith E. Edwards
Doctoral Student, College Student Personnel Administration
University of Maryland

"A man is loved not for how tall he stands, but for how often he bends 
to help, comfort, and teach."