Discussion List for campus-based and allied personnel working to end gender-based violence on campus.

Dear Cathy,  Hi, I'm sorry I missed the phone in, but I've had some  family 
health issues to deal with and was called out of town.  I'm back for  a few 
weeks until Sept. 12 (we're thinking).  I'd love to review the peer  
education 
program, however, unless you're already inundated with  volunteers.  I'll 
stay 
in touch in any case,   Linda
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Thread-Topic: SAPC Digest, Vol 241, Issue 1 Lisak article
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Trying again

Don Lazzarini M. Ed
Coordinator VAWOC Project
Resource Specialist
208-885-2956



-----Original Message-----
From: Don Lazzarini=20
Sent: Thursday, August 12, 2004 1:50 PM
To: 
''
Subject: RE: SAPC Digest, Vol 241, Issue 1 Lisak article


Thanks to Molly Dragiewicz for posting the Lisak article on "Predators:
Uncomfortable truths about Campus Rapists". It reflects many of the hard
earned truths we have learned over the years and currently share in our
campus education and programs. We present a program I wrote called
"Through the eye of a Predator". The key word in the Lisak title is
"Uncomfortable". Our society doesn't like to think about the issues many
on this list-serve live with on a daily basis. Those of us deep in the
trenches of sexual assault struggles are tolerated by our university
colleagues, but our constant focus on these issues makes it difficult
for others to look forward to our official visits and constant efforts
to create positive or needed changes. Mr. Lisak is going to get or
already has a great deal of resistance within the academic community,
society and governmental organizations to his many truths.

The following is not intended to point fingers or cause others to feel
bad. It is intended to take the conversation to a higher or deeper
level. That it has taken me so many years to get to a point where I am
asking these questions does not reflect positively on my intellect. That
I know many on the list-serve may be uncomfortable with the topic only
makes the writing of this post that much more difficult. It is within
our capacity as human beings to feel passionate and good about the work
we do all the while contributing to the problem. We therefore have a
responsibility to honor an honest inquiry with an open mind.=20

While much of Lisak's article reflects our personal views and experience
I would like to suggest a slightly different approach to the social
change he suggests. His view that "One of the most important steps that
must be taken is a comprehensive, led-from-the-top campaign to change
the community climate such that victims of sexual violence feel
comfortable to report attacks to authorities" is closing in on the
salient issue of barriers to reporting; but is asking the impossible.
Victims of sexual violence cannot be expected to feel comfortable
reporting attacks to authorities nor will the community climate
influence this much.=20

Many people are nervous and uncomfortable going to the doctor/dentist or
a job interview. Law enforcement and juries expect victims to behave in
certain ways and discount their information if they appear comfortable.
It may be equally impossible to find authorities who are comfortable
taking the reports. I know many who are not. Reporting is "one of the
most important steps" but reporting is different things to different
people. Anonymous and third party "reports" are viewed positively in
some circles and seen as leading to a false sense of having done
something meaningful in others. In our communities reporting that does
not result in accountability and true public involvement involving
courts and media, becomes little more than an exercise in collecting
statistics.

While I believe a comprehensive, led-from-the-top campaign to change
community climate is imperative I respectfully recommend it be in the
area of responsibility to others for the safety of the community. This
paradigm addresses male and female by-standers, perpetrators and shifts
the focus of the assault from the personal to the public realm. Our
legal system, the only sanctioned form of punishment for these criminal
offenses identifies these actions as violations against the group
standards. The victim has no standing other than as a witness for the
people.

The basic concept is based in "no greater love for your fellow man is
shown, than through sacrifice for others". It represents all that is
good and truly valued in our society. No greater hero is recognized than
one who gave their life to protect the lives of others. To challenge the
current barriers to reporting, it becomes necessary to at least look to
a model that views sacrifice of self for the greater good. Any other
motive by the reporting party appears selfish and suspect even to the
greater community. Don't be a tattle-tail or a snitch drives most of our
youthful concepts of interaction with authority.

As long as the victim believes they are only reporting for themselves it
is easier to just do nothing. As long as we all think the victim is
reporting for themselves why would our community care. In the same
light, reporting for yourself supports the gold-digger concept so
frequently heard in social discourse. This context must be about those
sexual assault behaviors we find unacceptable as a community. What you
do to one of us, you have done to all of us. What you have done to
protect all of us, protects you.=20

Sacrificing for the good of others requires a closer look at
passionately-held current belief and practice. Are adult victims of
sexual assaults "empowered" by being given selected information about
their place in our criminal justice system. Victims are told "you don't
have to do anything if you don't want to". Such statement are often
followed by "It's not your job to keep other people safe. He is the one
responsible for what he does".=20

In all fairness those very words came out of my mouth for years as a
result of what I had been taught to say by sensitive caring others in
the field. I accepted them at the time so please don't write calling me
bad names and telling me you don't like me because I have come to
question them now. After 25 plus years in the field I am finally ready
to question the efficacy of the current process and ask if it is
enabling campus sexual assault and lowering accountability. Rape
empowerment as a model has had a pass on assessment though practiced
since the 70's. What are the outcomes of this model? Few people in the
field are even asking. Some practitioners attack us personally when we
do.

This issue should not confuse healing with accountability. If we knew
someone was smashing people's knees with a baseball bat would we tell
the injured person on the ground "you don't have to do anything. It's
not your job to help us stop the baseball bat attacker?" The issue is
not about healing the knee, it is not about how much pain the victim is
in. It is about stopping further attacks. Healing is exceptionally
important but should not be the sole focus when a threat still exists
within the community. 1. Eliminate the threat 2. Work on Healing seems
like a reasoned process for most situations. Sometimes a delay in
eliminating the threat is necessary due to the extreme incapacitation of
the witness and a certain amount of healing or repair is needed first.

 As soon as one sees it might be possible some college men function in
serial and highly organized attack patterns we are put in the
uncomfortable position of figuring out where we stand on stopping
further attacks and eliminating the threat to other women. If we try to
ignore the question or ride the fence we are destined to repeat the last
25 years. Where do others sit on the following:

If a third-year male college student has inserted his penis in a total
of 21 different unconscious-due-to-alcohol, first-year female college
students (averaging 7 victims per year mostly at his parties and his
alcohol). Is this 1. an issue of her choice not to report or assist in a
criminal prosecution or 2. A responsibility to do her part to help
protect us all from further attacks even though she is embarrassed,
ashamed and emotionally suffering?=20

What position do you think the third-year serial rapist will take? If
passionately embracing empowerment results in a decision that aligns
with the serial rapist, we must consider our position and at least
assess the unintended consequences of empowerment. On the other hand,
maybe this is seen as miscommunication and drunk sex and it isn't fair
to target these boys who are just trying to socialize and have a good
time. If that is true we need to mellow out and focus on issues like
alternatives to alcohol and moderation in all things. If that is how
this works in your brain then Lisak and others like him are going to
make you very uncomfortable. Hopefully in the cognitive dissonance kind
of uncomfortable.

If our community and our students could be shown and will accept the
concept most people coming forward to report these sexual violations are
doing so at great personal sacrifice, with the goal of protecting others
at risk in the community; there might be a chance for social change. As
long as we pretend most of these campus sexual assaults are simple
miscommunications and these guys don't plan them or repeat them, then we
can continue to safely blame the victim for their bad choices, bad luck
and provide rapists fertile training environments.=20

"Never allow rape to be defined as the perpetrator having "sex" with the
victim. If rape is allowed to masquerade as sex it will be viewed in a
positive light by those who don't know the difference" DFL 2004

Don Lazzarini M. Ed
Coordinator VAWOC Project
Resource Specialist
208-885-2956